Friday, November 20, 2009

OH MY GOD THAT'S SO IRONIC WHAT WITH ALL THE IRONY AND ALL.

I've come to hate the word "ironic" for many reasons.
The two biggest reasons being:
1. People over use it.
2. People apparently don't know how to use it in a sentence correctly.

Some people seem to think that irony is really just a synonym for coincidence. These people should buy a dictionary. Some people's use of the word completely baffles me though. It's like, I can't figure out what the hell they're trying to say, because what they said contains absolutely zero irony. So then I have to think for a while to figure out what word they actually meant to say.

It's not just stupid people, web comics, and stupid people on the internet either. I've had teachers and professors that don't seem to get it either. Surprisingly, my teacher from Russia can use it correctly. She says some really confusing things, but I've heard her use the word "ironic" correctly a few times. Then I've had English professors who don't. I just don't understand why it's so hard to use the word correctly. If I could, I'd ban it from use, just because I'm so sick of hearing it.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's a good chance this is you:

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Guess I can't help being part caveman.

When I wake up and I'm overly exhausted, I usually can't grasp simple concepts. I do most of my best work tired before falling asleep... but when I first wake up, nothing makes sense and I have zero depth perception. For example, this morning I ran my mug into the microwave's revolving tray about 3 times before I got it actually onto it this morning. I basically spilled water all over the place and angrily grunted.

Last week coming out of my building, I tried walking into the revolving door while someone else already was.... I got stuck halfway in. I had to back up, wait for that kid to go through again, and then finally made it outside. Today I almost walked in as this girl was walking through, then thought to myself "you're not fooling me this time, door!" Come to think of it maybe I should have tried going. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I should avoid anything that revolves while I'm tired.

I've learned a lot in the short time I've been living in the city, and remembered how much I hate heavily populated areas. Basically what my cooking comes down to most days is throwing whatever kind of meat and vegetables I have left in a pan with olive oil and spices. Or spaghetti. Depends on how much food I have left. Halloween night I didn't feel like going out, so I ate candy all day and watched old horror movies. What I ended up doing for dinner was throwing the frozen chicken I had left, a tomato I cut the mold off of, some carrots, garlic, some spices, and half a package of bacon in a pan. I ate about 3/4 of a package of bacon that day, I'm surprised I didn't die. But anyway, I'm not going to turn this into a recipe column.

I spend a lot of time in my room freezing to death, because our thermostat is locked. What sucks about Chicago's Loop is that nothing is open late. I went out at a little before 11pm the other night in search of any place that sells burgers that was open. After a while of walking in the pouring rain I started to get desperate for anything that was open that sold edible things. On my way there was someone laying in the middle of the street, like they got hit by a car or something. I was hungry and saw enough people huddled around blocking traffic, so I kept walking. I eventually saw a pizza by the slice place with the door open, ordered way more pizza than I actually wanted, and headed home to sit in front of my computer some more.

I think I answer anyone who comes up to me on the street with "I don't have any money." One homeless guy asked me for what I think was fourty (I spell fourty wrong on purpose, and you should too) cents. I couldn't really understand what the hell he was saying, I said "I don't have any money... wait what?.....no I don't have any money" then kept walking. One guy asked me for two dollars, which was more than I had in my wallet at the time. The only difference between an art school student and a homeless person is a few years, so I don't see why anyone is asking me for money. Hell, half the time I look homeless on my way to class, so maybe I should carry an empty cup with me to collect some money on the way.

That's most of everything that's on my mind, but I have one more thing to end with. Last week after one of my midterms, I had an hour to kill, so I went back to my apartment to eat something real quick. I didn't really have much that wouldn't take me forever to cook, so I ate an entire box of wild rice so I wouldn't be hungry before my next class. Then I sort of felt like exploding. Then I figured I should draw this comic of what I kept imagining happening.