Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I'm Gonna Be A Dead Rat Salesman

I recently graduated college, which means I'm probably going to have to resort to eating rats and pigeons off the streets soon. I'm still in the process of job hunting and about to move back in with my parents, so I've been having all sorts of fun for the last... 4 or 5 months while I was interning and losing all my money. Maybe I'll go to my fallback occupation of "selling dead rats on the street." My mom always told me I'd be good at it.

The people who took pictures for my graduation did an awful job. Most of them are extremely washed out looking, and most importantly one of them wasn't even a picture of me. They had some kid a row or two ahead of me instead, obviously I don't want to buy that one.

For my older sister's college graduation party, I noticed that it said "Lemson" instead of "Clemson" while we were still in the store. I didn't say anything until we got to the car and my dad noticed, but I told him "no, keep it, it's funny!" My sister didn't find it funny. In fact, she was mad at me for a long time about it. So when I graduated, she told my mom and brother to do this:

I mean, I thought it was funny though. I don't really get mad about cake, unless it's filled with poop or something.

For my birthday/graduation party, which I've always called a Birthuation party (at least since high school), I had the lady at the grocery store write "Happy Birthuation!" on the cake for me. I had to spell it out for her, but she added a plastic mortarboard and "happy birthday!" sign to opposite sides of the cake. I don't have pictures of that cake, or the old lady who did it, but she was pretty cool for doing that anyway.

I basically finished college in March, but my graduation wasn't until May. They didn't even hand out diplomas at my graduation, just the covers. What really gets me is they originally said we can't get our diplomas until July 11th, now they bumped it up to the 30th. Is it really that hard to print a sheet of paper? Also, for them to ship it, apparently it costs $7. After all the years of tuition, course fees, books, and the graduation fee they charged, couldn't they at least do THAT for free? Here's my message kids, don't go to college. Make a living as a gravy salesman.

Other than recording, interning, graduating, being jobless, and turning 23, there isn't really a lot of news from my life. I can, however, post a whole bunch of crap I have neglected to post on here in the past.

Like this truck my family passed on the way to Pittsburgh:

Sadly, it was nowhere near Fangboner Road in Ohio.

Meijer sells icy ice cream:

I stockpile troll skulls in Skyrim, because at first I thought it'd be funny to fill my shelves with them, but at this point I have way more than that. Lydia annoys the crap out of me when she shows up sitting in my room, so I figured every time I come in, I'll start putting troll skulls on her head. This is just the start:

In case you were wondering, yes, my TV is old and crappy.


One more thing: I started another blog for recording.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I Will Not Download Your Mix Tape.

I'll admit, I might not always be 100% logical with my thought process... sometimes it's closer to 99.99%. What I don't understand is how so many people in this world don't realize how stupid they sound every time they speak. Some people don't even have to speak to sound dumb, they just kind of exist as a being of supreme stupidity.

What has me on this rant is the fact that I'm finally into my last year of college and I finished a recording class with a kid who would constantly tell people at the end of class to "FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, DOWNLOAD MY MIX TAPE." Here's what I don't understand, how would you go about downloading a mix tape? You can't download tape. If you're recording, mixing, mastering, and releasing your albums digitally, how would this make it a tape in any sense? That's the thing, it doesn't. Last day of class he offered a few of us a copy of his "mix tape" on CD. Instead of just saying no, because his music is horrible and I knew that he knew nothing about mixing music, I just made fun of him for calling a CD a tape. I must have said "YOU CAN'T DOWNLOAD TAPE" to him at least 20 times.

On top of it all, it's not exactly a "mix" either if it's supposed to be an album by a single artist. Show me a cassette or reel of tape with the same contents on it and maybe I'd let it slide, but the fact that people can call an album that isn't a mix or a tape kind of baffles me. Have people just forgotten what tape is? I mean it's not like studios don't use tape every single day, so why is it so hard to understand that if something is not on tape, it is not a tape?

On another note, I wish my college had a test within the application to major in audio that asks, "do you 'make beats?'" and answering "Yes" would make you ineligible to take any classes in the department. I swear, every single kid at my college thinks they're going to become the world's greatest rap or hip-hop super star because they know how to press the power button on their computer and can rhyme "money" with "money." If it's not the wanna-be rappers, it's the hipsters, and together they've made me lose all hope for the future of music. I could keep going, but instead I'd rather change subjects and end this post.

Cee Lo Green is Dr. WongBurger from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Thank you and goodnight.