Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I'm Gonna Be A Dead Rat Salesman

I recently graduated college, which means I'm probably going to have to resort to eating rats and pigeons off the streets soon. I'm still in the process of job hunting and about to move back in with my parents, so I've been having all sorts of fun for the last... 4 or 5 months while I was interning and losing all my money. Maybe I'll go to my fallback occupation of "selling dead rats on the street." My mom always told me I'd be good at it.

The people who took pictures for my graduation did an awful job. Most of them are extremely washed out looking, and most importantly one of them wasn't even a picture of me. They had some kid a row or two ahead of me instead, obviously I don't want to buy that one.

For my older sister's college graduation party, I noticed that it said "Lemson" instead of "Clemson" while we were still in the store. I didn't say anything until we got to the car and my dad noticed, but I told him "no, keep it, it's funny!" My sister didn't find it funny. In fact, she was mad at me for a long time about it. So when I graduated, she told my mom and brother to do this:

I mean, I thought it was funny though. I don't really get mad about cake, unless it's filled with poop or something.

For my birthday/graduation party, which I've always called a Birthuation party (at least since high school), I had the lady at the grocery store write "Happy Birthuation!" on the cake for me. I had to spell it out for her, but she added a plastic mortarboard and "happy birthday!" sign to opposite sides of the cake. I don't have pictures of that cake, or the old lady who did it, but she was pretty cool for doing that anyway.

I basically finished college in March, but my graduation wasn't until May. They didn't even hand out diplomas at my graduation, just the covers. What really gets me is they originally said we can't get our diplomas until July 11th, now they bumped it up to the 30th. Is it really that hard to print a sheet of paper? Also, for them to ship it, apparently it costs $7. After all the years of tuition, course fees, books, and the graduation fee they charged, couldn't they at least do THAT for free? Here's my message kids, don't go to college. Make a living as a gravy salesman.

Other than recording, interning, graduating, being jobless, and turning 23, there isn't really a lot of news from my life. I can, however, post a whole bunch of crap I have neglected to post on here in the past.

Like this truck my family passed on the way to Pittsburgh:

Sadly, it was nowhere near Fangboner Road in Ohio.

Meijer sells icy ice cream:


I stockpile troll skulls in Skyrim, because at first I thought it'd be funny to fill my shelves with them, but at this point I have way more than that. Lydia annoys the crap out of me when she shows up sitting in my room, so I figured every time I come in, I'll start putting troll skulls on her head. This is just the start:

In case you were wondering, yes, my TV is old and crappy.

Oh and HOONA IGNA CHOWA NEHA! HOONA IGNA CHOWA NEHA! HOONA IGNA CHOWA NEHA?

One more thing: I started another blog for recording.

1 comment:

sarah said...

You are a strange man. And you have until April to find a job quicker than I did after graduation (yup, that's right, it took 11 months - and it wasn't until several months after that they bumped me up to full time).
PS, the cake writing was Eric's idea, I just helped him massage the message :)