Ian R. Covelli

I Will Not Download Your Mix Tape.

2012-01-31T16:44:00.000-06:00

I'll admit, I might not always be 100% logical with my thought process... sometimes it's closer to 99.99%. What I don't understand is how so many people in this world don't realize how stupid they sound every time they speak. Some people don't even have to speak to sound dumb, they just kind of exist as a being of supreme stupidity.

What has me on this rant is the fact that I'm finally into my last year of college and I finished a recording class with a kid who would constantly tell people at the end of class to "FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, DOWNLOAD MY MIX TAPE." Here's what I don't understand, how would you go about downloading a mix tape? You can't download tape. If you're recording, mixing, mastering, and releasing your albums digitally, how would this make it a tape in any sense? That's the thing, it doesn't. Last day of class he offered a few of us a copy of his "mix tape" on CD. Instead of just saying no, because his music is horrible and I knew that he knew nothing about mixing music, I just made fun of him for calling a CD a tape. I must have said "YOU CAN'T DOWNLOAD TAPE" to him at least 20 times.

On top of it all, it's not exactly a "mix" either if it's supposed to be an album by a single artist. Show me a cassette or reel of tape with the same contents on it and maybe I'd let it slide, but the fact that people can call an album that isn't a mix or a tape kind of baffles me. Have people just forgotten what tape is? I mean it's not like studios don't use tape every single day, so why is it so hard to understand that if something is not on tape, it is not a tape?

On another note, I wish my college had a test within the application to major in audio that asks, "do you 'make beats?'" and answering "Yes" would make you ineligible to take any classes in the department. I swear, every single kid at my college thinks they're going to become the world's greatest rap or hip-hop super star because they know how to press the power button on their computer and can rhyme "money" with "money." If it's not the wanna-be rappers, it's the hipsters, and together they've made me lose all hope for the future of music. I could keep going, but instead I'd rather change subjects and end this post.

Cee Lo Green is Dr. WongBurger from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Thank you and goodnight.

Extra Long Posts Make Up For An Extra Long Hiatus

2011-09-29T04:32:00.001-05:00

I was sitting here wondering why there are Kidz Bop commercials on during Adult Swim at 2am, when I realized how long it's been since I've posted a new blog. I could come up with excuses for why I haven't posted anything in a while, or I could just write something funny. It's obviously much easier for me to go with making excuses, so that's what I think I'll do. I moved out of my "dorm-partment" on campus after the spring semester ended, lived at home for the summer and worked crap hours with crap paychecks, then moved back to the city (off campus) after my summer break ended.

What have I done lately? Well aside from spending a majority of my time on school, I've spent a lot of time watching cartoons and criticizing commercials. A couple weeks ago, I didn't leave my apartment for almost 5 days. I'd like to say it was all because I was sick, but quite honestly I kind of like seeing how long I can go without talking to anyone in person. These are the kinds of things I end up sending my friends:

"I USED TO FEEL LIKE A TOTAL FATASS EATING AN ENTIRE CAKE, NOW BAKEPOPS FORCE ME TO ONLY EAT A DOUGHNUT HOLE SIZED PIECE OF CAKE, MAKING ME INTO A RAGE FILLED HUNGRY SHE-MONSTER."

There's this Chuck E Cheese commercial that I can't stand where this wienery little blond kid is trying to... rap... or something? I honestly don't know what the hell the kid is trying to do, and I can't really find it online so you'll have to trust me on how annoying and stupid it is. Basically what I've changed the commercial to every time it comes on is "I'M A LITTLE WIENER, COME ON, CELEBRATE! I STILL POOP MY PANTS, COME ON, CELEBRATE!" My version is better.

I think I've seen this commercial for iCarly Happy Meal toys 87 million times. This little girl have a face that looks like DERRRRRRRRR:

Also, that iCarly girl will some day turn 50 and I will still have no idea what her show is even supposed to be... besides stupid looking.

I'll give a quick recap of things that have happened since I last posted. Well... at least things I've taken pictures of on my phone.

In Baltimore, apparently it's always opposite day.

John Cena/Cross-eyed Shaved Gorilla Action Figure.

If the dog does anything in my room, I yell until he runs away. If he does it in anyone else's room, I take a picture and walk out of the room. If it isn't a pile of my clothes he's laying on, it's usually funny to me.

This guy drives a Toy Taco.

Pea in the poo.

My car doesn't think that headbutting babies while driving is right. Well maybe I don't think my car is right.

Alright there isn't much behind this one, she's just a really creepy looking retail "model." She's probably absorbing someone's soul through her mouth with that creepy smile.

I never knew that Roy Rogers was a Gay Ranchero, not to mention uncut!

I bet the photographer for this was arrested shortly after developing these pictures.

I still haven't figured this one out. Is this a dog tombstone?

If you've seen this movie before, I really don't have to explain how terrible it is. That's why my best friend and I watched it and laughed the entire time while my girlfriend slept through it.

This guy is enjoying his shower way too much.

I got the rhino truck when I moved, and it was glorious.

I don't think this car has enough bird poop on it.
Seriously though, it looked way worse in person.

I saw this on my way home from class one day. The word bubble was mostly what made me laugh.

Okay, so the Roosevelt red line stop is pretty awesome.

This is the best graffiti ever. Earlier today when I passed it, I noticed that it says "I EAT FOOD I EAT FOOD I EAT FOOD" on the other side of the pole. Someone out there has won whatever award I award graffiti artists for whatever I'm talking about.

I'll leave you with this.

Until next time, my loyal followers.
...if you exist.

Finals? Homework? Projects? Omegle.

2011-05-05T00:35:00.001-05:00

So, apparently finals week is now a drawn out two week process designed to make you rethink wanting a college degree. I wish my finals all involved getting out of bed at 2pm, eating pizza, and playing video games. Then I'd ace them all.

Anyway, I looked at my blog today and thought to myself "boy, I haven't updated my blog since February, surely my re--
okay I'm just avoiding doing any homework or studying. So I figured the best thing to do was to go on Omegle and have stupid conversations with stupid people about stupid things. Would you like to know how it went? You don't have a say in this. Your answer is yes. Keep reading.

You: mingus
Stranger: Male lookin for female to have fun wit ;)
You: oh
You: well look no further
Stranger: Finally I get one haha
You: no I just wanted to get your hopes up
You have disconnected.

This guy doesn't like Morfs.

You: herro
Stranger: hi
Stranger: m or f
You: both
You: I'm a morf
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm really glad this person didn't bring up anything about Pokemon from the last 10 years, because this conversation wouldn't have been as long. I wonder if they checked the Pewter City Gym before they went on Omegle. I'm going to stop talking now:

Stranger: brock?
You: ASH?
Stranger: MISTY?
You: PIKACHU?
Stranger: JIGGLYPUFF?
You: SQUIRTLE?
Stranger: NURSE JOY?
You: OFFICER JENNY?
Stranger: bingo!
You: you're the best person I've talked to on here
You: because you talk pokemon
Stranger: haha why thank you!
Stranger: but im searching for brock, so i gotta go!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Apparently I'm a "wire do" for offering a young girl some pity corn.

Stranger: Hi 14 f Cali here
You: wanna watch some pity corn?
Stranger: ?? Wiredo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Here's an old one I never posted:

Stranger: wait are you one fo those internet "trogs" i've heard about
You: I'm more of an internet dog
You: I like to poop on the carpet
Stranger: i think you are a trog my nephew told me that people from the internet be idio ust for the sake of and that's called troging
You: my nephew told me about candy
You: I still have yet to have it
You: it sounds delicious
Stranger: see you're being a trog
You: you're being a trog
Stranger: ehy do people act like trogs
You: you know who's really a trog though?
Stranger: who?
You: http://www.coolrom.com/screenshots/nes/Trog.gif
You: that trog
Stranger: look the games i played in my 30's have nothing to do you troggin
You: Trog has everything to do with trogging
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That's all for now, I'm gonna go back to stressing about finals and not doing any of my work.

Not a Thorofart.

Hello, my name is product placement.

2011-02-14T02:34:00.000-06:00

Every time I see a commercial for the movie Hall Pass, I think a few different things:
1. How much is Applebee's paying them for blatant product placement?
2. Why do people like Captain Dong Nose? (Owen Wilson)
3. Who lets Owen Wilson try to act?
4. Seriously, what's with the Applebee's extreme closeup, is this an Applebee's commercial?
5. Man, Owen Wilson loves Applebee's.

I'm just going to cover number one. Seriously, if you haven't seen the trailer for this... well you aren't really missing anything, this is it summed up in one picture:

I don't really know how relevant the restaurant is to the storyline, but apparently it's relevant enough to show them walking in and panning up to the sign. Applebee's the movie. Got it.

I mean, I guess I can understand why they did it. The movie itself looks like a turd, so I guess they had to do as much product placement for advertisers as humanly possible to make up for their losses. But it doesn't matter what the movie is, people don't care how blatant their product placement is.

Wait.
Actually, the whole movie is about Owen Wilson pooping his pants:

I'll PASS on HALL PASS HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway... that's about it.

Hyundai: We Advertise Seizures

2011-02-09T13:40:00.003-06:00

So there's a Hyundai commercial or two (or fifty, I don't really know/care) out that uses the popular "flash all-caps words on the screen one at a time in an obnoxious manner to get a point across" method of advertising. I want to punch whoever is responsible for making this commercial right between the eyes. Or maybe I should buy into this marketing technique of "extremely obnoxious" instead:

I mean, I can't even really think of anything that stands out about any Hyundai cars. They try and make this advertisement saying that their cars aren't "boring" but they basically look exactly like Toyota and Honda cars. I guess they're trying to follow suit with Toyota's "ugly kid" commercials by trying to make more commercials I hate. Or maybe they really thought this method of advertising has never been done before and they were trying not to seem "boring" despite the fact that this has been done before (and has been annoying every time it has been done).

Every time I see the commercial it feels sort of like when you're in middle school and some kid in your class still barely knows how to read... but the teacher tells him to read out loud. "And... then... the.... cat.... sat... on... his..." and in your head you're about four pages ahead and want to go across the room and start choking the kid.

Maybe their commercial is really a way of them saying "no one owns our cars, therefore they are not like every other car you see on the road." That seems like the most realistic message. Try and think of 5 people you know who own a Hyundai. I can't think of one. I mean, sure I'd drive a Hyundai if I was given one for free, but there's no way I'd ever spend money on one.

Also: Simpsons.
I'm sure at least someone out there will understand.

Hi, I'm a carrot, and an expert.

2010-12-16T16:17:00.000-06:00

I should be studying for one of the finals I have, but that's why I figured I'd update this. I guess I watch the History Channel a lot, because we don't really have many channels in this building.

Seriously though, has anyone ever seen Giorgio A. Tsoukalos? I swear, every time they put him in something he looks more ridiculous than before. Instead of trying to explain, I'll take the lazy way out and show pictures.

Here's a relatively normal looking picture of him from his website:

Then I guess he stopped washing his hair:

Then I guess he started spray tanning himself:

Then... umm... he turned into a carrot:

Seriously, I think he must be doing it on purpose just to mess with people. Either that, or he really is becoming a carrot. Maybe it's some weird fetish. He probably buries himself in the back yard at night. What a sick man. He should be ashamed of his carrot fetish.

Shut Up, Mop Head Kid.

2010-11-13T12:58:00.000-06:00

Anyone who watches too much TV has seen the recent Toyota Highlander commercials with this ugly kid basically saying he hates his parents for being poor.

In a perfect world, this commercial would just be Christopher Lambert running up to this kid, cutting off his head, yelling "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" and then a flash of the car's name. Of course, we don't live in a perfect world, so we get several commercials of this talking mop complaining about the car his parents drive. Kid, be glad you have a bed to sleep in. If I were your parent, I'd have you sleeping on top of a pile of dead raccoons in the back yard.

The parents should really just tell him to walk to school. Better yet, make him carry them around in a rickshaw. I mean seriously, the kid makes it sound like he wants to have sex with the car. If your kid complains about the type of car you drive, you really should tell them to get a job and buy you a new one. Or just tell them "you're not getting anything for your birthday ever again, I had to buy a new car to shut you up."

If these kids want to be mad at their parents for something, they should be mad at them for making them so ugly. I mean, look at these kids:

Casting directors hit the jackpot on the hideous kids with gross hair. Was that Toyota's aim?

If they were smart, they'd start marketing the alternative fuel source I mentioned earlier = ugly child powered rickshaw. It's sad that I can't cash in on the market, but quite frankly I hate children too much to even try.

Comics - Robot Dino Hunter X

2010-08-31T13:46:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I haven't posted anything in almost two months. I have two good excuses though:
1. I've been busy all summer.
2. I've been lazy.

Anyway, I've always said how I'm too lazy to start an actual webcomic instead of randomly posting crap on here all the time and how there's too many terrible ones out there already so I shouldn't just add to the pile of horrible comics and this is a run-on sentence but I don't really care so I'm just going to continue it for a few more words until right now.

Long story short, my friend Anthony and I were talking about my DJ Fartbot song Robot Dino Hunter X and he told me I should make it a comic. So I started a comic - Robot Dino Hunter X. Basically it's a story about a dinosaur hunter who is a robot.

This is different from most of my comics, since there's supposed to be some sort of story to it. It's not like when I just make a comic criticizing all other internet comics like this one:

And it's not like these two comics I made in between classes when I was in community college that criticize the way people talk on the internet with stupid jokes:

And it won't be much like my avoiding-doing-any-actual-work doodles like this one:

But it should be entertaining. I mean, at least if you like guys who are robots named Robot Dino Hunter X that hunt dinosaurs. I don't know about you, but I sure do.

More reasons why my grades in high school were terrible

2010-06-09T12:02:00.000-05:00

Okay so I'll admit it. I've been too lazy to make up actual new things for a while. I do have a lot of crap backed up in my old archive that I've never posted on here before though. A good amount of it is garbage, but there's also a fair amount of some post-worthy stuff.

There's probably a few good reasons that when I applied to colleges back in high school, none of them accepted me other than community college. The best reason for that is probably that other than ever doing my work, I'd work on something that seemed more fun to work on. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still do that... just not to the extent that I did back in high school. I used to turn these things in for credit too. Sometimes I'd get in trouble, but some teachers would just look the other way/not pay attention and give me full credit. Like the haiku I wrote for class and later made into a song:

Napalm factory

All the children scream "hooray!"

None of them survive.

I still think it's the best haiku ever written. But I mean, I wrote it, so it has to be.

I used to get bored in my 2D Art class in high school and just cut pictures out of magazines to make collages or just random crap with them. I think the best one was the one I actually turned in:

I mean, there's a kid riding a shark that's eating TV that a man is sitting on top of. Can't get much better than that.

This next one wasn't something I turned in, but it was something I showed pretty much anyone with eyes after making it:

Do I know who either of these people are? No. Do I really care? Of course not.

This last one has pretty much nothing to do with the other images, but I've never posted it on here before. It's a comic I made in study hall my freshman year of high school about Pac-Man:

Most of it is blurry and wrinkled because I had it in one of my binders the entire year and it just kind of smeared everything. Well, that and I'm not skilled in any way with a pencil.

Well, I've run out of things I want to post in this for now. Next time I might post my photography from the black and white photo class I took when I was in community college. I have a ton of it. I mean, it's not like any of it's funny or anything, I just want to post it.

Formspring is incredibly boring

2010-05-03T04:28:00.000-05:00

But that could be because I'm not:
1. Famous
2. A woman
3. Interesting

But of course, number three is not true. I'm obviously so interesting that it's just impossible for people to know where to start asking questions. So far, almost all of my questions have been from two of my friends. So... if you have any questions about me that you've been dying to know the answer to, I made one of these a while ago (and don't really know why I thought it'd be a good idea) and hardly ever see new questions come up on it.

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.formspring.me/Hildsvfar"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;http://www.formspring.me/Hildsvfar&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>
Anyway, I have a test...technically today, so I should probably go to bed. I only have two more weeks left of class, which means I'm at the point where I'm getting all worried about turning things in but not actually working on anything. That way I can rush it all last minute and get zero hours of sleep before it's due.

Omegle chat logs I forgot about and will now share

2010-04-15T03:19:00.000-05:00

I made the one post a few months ago of some of my favorites, but there's still a lot more I have saved somewhere. I found a few that I'm surprised I didn't post before, and now I will. If it wasn't obvious that I have mental problems before, well now's your chance to find that out.

This one, I actually talked to this person for a while, then my browser crashed and I was sad I couldn't continue watching TV with them:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi .
You: THERE'S TIGERS ON NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
Stranger: wtf ?
You: that doesn't get you excited?
Stranger: yes it does . im watchinq it right now tho .
You: good
You: that tiger is gonna hunt those deer good
Stranger: yeah i know . so you like animals ?
You: not like furries do
You: I just like seeing them kill things
Stranger: yeah me too .
You: oh man did you see that bird on that deer
Stranger: yeah .
You: oh this is cool it's like we're hanging out

I tried this one for a while, usually people disconnected:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi.
You: Let's play swords
Stranger: what??
You: I'm Rick Sprinter
You: Geologist
You: from Denver
Stranger: how old r u?
You: 27
Stranger: 23,m,china.
You: NICE
You: let's play swords
Stranger: how?
You: WHACK
Stranger: ?i can not understand.
You: THWACK
You: oh I hit you good!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This one goes on for a while, but I like how I started and ended it.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey!
You: you aren't asian are you?
Stranger: please help
Stranger: no
You: good
You: what do you need
Stranger: phew
Stranger: just a little help is all
Stranger: please just tell me what you think of the way i look
You: not this again
Stranger: i know that sounds weird but i have been getting weird comments and i dont know if its real or joking
Stranger: please?
You: I don't follow links
Stranger: im serious
You: I'm not Princess Zelda
Stranger: its tinypic
Stranger: not a virus
Stranger: its tinypic...seriously
Stranger: i swear on my life
Stranger: i am just getting down to the bottom on my self esteem
Stranger: plz
You: sure
You: I probably won't click it
You: but I'll give you my honest criticism
Stranger: ok
Stranger: you wont be able to see it unless you click it
Stranger: but you can see the link
You: I'm actually Hitler
You: I dunno
Stranger: http://tinypic.com/r/adzq5v/6
Stranger: here it is
Stranger: you can look at tiny pic and see its legit
Stranger: all i want is honest criticism
You: you aren't naked in it are you?
Stranger: like how i should clean myself up or how i would look more attractive to people or what
Stranger: god no
Stranger: its just my face
You: are you a woman or man
Stranger: dont be too mean
Stranger: i just havent gotten a lot of honesty
Stranger: just look at the pic
Stranger: tell me what i look like it guess, if it isnt obvious, which i should hope it is
You: I think you need a new camera
You: and not be so close to it
Stranger: why?
You: my friend here tells me you're Lori Cox
Stranger: its just a straight pic of my face
Stranger: who's lori cox
You: how the fuck you should I know
Stranger: ?
You: I dunno
You: you kinda look like this girl I went to high school with
You: but she really liked cats, so I don't think it'd compare too well
Stranger: just please help
Stranger: tell me what you think
Stranger: stop beating around the bush
Stranger: give it to me straight
Stranger: i need to hear it
Stranger: the truth
You: I dunno
You: you look fine to me
Stranger: wow thanks
Stranger: :)
Stranger: sexy at all?
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 19
You: okay
You: sure
Stranger: you dont sound too FUCKING confident
Stranger: id like to get a guy
Stranger: a guy to FUCK
Stranger: and it just isnt WORKING
Stranger: so i cant be sexy
Stranger: tell me the truth!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: plz
You: lady I'm tired and I'm working on a 10 page paper for monday, I'm not enthusiastic about anything righ tnow
Stranger: THEN WHY ARE YOU ON OMEGLE
Stranger: YOU FUCK
You: because I can't concentrate
Stranger: YOU FAT FUCK
You: don't get mean with me lady
You: actually I'm quite skinny
Stranger: dont ever try to contract me again
Stranger: you fat fuck
You: how would I?
Stranger: im sure you have ways
You: I can't "contract" you anyway
Stranger: i mean CONTACT
You: I'm sure you'll contract something from fucking too many guys
Stranger: DUH
You: HAHAHHAHA
You: HAHAHAHHA
You: I'm funny.
You: bye.
You have disconnected.

I have more old stuff I've been thinking about reposting on here that I used to have on other websites. I don't know if I actually will. Maybe. I have about a month left of classes, so I have a lot of work to do before the semester ends that I've been putting off. What that means is that I'm going to pretend that I won't have enough time to post here for a while, but in reality I'll probably post stuff here to procrastinate doing real work. That's actually what I'm doing right now, I probably should have gone to bed at least an hour ago.

Altered Advertisements

2010-03-18T17:51:00.000-05:00

Since there's a sausage outside my apartment door:

I figured it was about time to write a new blog.

I've had interesting things happen so far this semester. There's the interesting things, like the guy giving me a sheet of paper on my way to the subway then telling me "it's to read, not to keep!" Then there's the disgusting things... like when I cleaned out my shower and sink drains for what appeared to be the first time they've ever been cleaned:

...that's like 3 pounds worth of hair that I got out of the drain with a notebook spiral.
My mom asked "why didn't you have maintenance come and do it?" to which I had to respond "because I'm a man."

My life isn't all that interesting though, so that's about all of the pictures on my phone that I've taken within the last two months. Now onto what I actually started writing this for...

A couple years ago I started online survey email things, then started to notice how horrible the stock images they use for their ads were. So, I felt the need to improve these advertisements by altering them and adding my own text to them. I've had them up on my deviantArt page for a while, but I figured I'd post them here on account of deviantArt likes to delete things.

The first one I ever altered I apparently didn't notice the typo I made until a friend brought it to my attention several months later. So this isn't the original one, but the one where I fixed my typo. I can't remember what it was originally advertising, but hey... I don't really care that much either. So here it is:

I feel I made it much more effective.

This one actually wasn't from emails, but it is pretty old. Remember that clicking it will only lead to the image, not to what is being advertised in my alteration:

I can't really remember the order I actually did most of these in, but at some point they stopped being as fun to edit so I just gave up. This next one is still my favorite:

This one is yet another one I improved the message for:

This next one has a very important message, and apparently was made around Christmas time:

Obviously I've never really cared about who I'm offending. Let's face it, I usually only care about my own opinion anyway. Almost all of these are pretty much proof of that. The rest of these I'm pretty sure were my last ones, this one was obviously some advertisement for school supplies or something stupid like that:

And these last three, I honestly can't remember what they were trying to sell:

But I obviously made them better, right?

Time Well Spent = Time Wasted

2010-03-05T01:39:00.014-06:00

I was looking back at some old comics I made in middle school and never did anything with the other day, which got me to thinking that I should post them on here. It probably seems like most of my posts anymore are things from when I was younger, I guess maybe I'm just not funny anymore and rely on things I've already done. That can't be true though, because obviously I'm great.

I've never really put any thought into making a webcomic that posts daily, weekly, etc. because quite frankly I only make comics when I:
A. Feel like it
or
B. Am so bored that I just start drawing things.

Since these days I have too many classes that I actually have to pay attention in (although I still zone out constantly), I don't really draw very many of the poorly drawn scribblings that I call comics. The closest thing I've done like that lately is when I didn't know DVE stood for Digital Video Effects on a test, so I wrote "Digital Video... Elephant" and needless to say, I got it wrong. Surprisingly those sort of things only got me in trouble until I graduated high school... now all that ever happens is I just lose points or gain points for entertaining the teacher. I'm not as creative with it lately... too tired and too lazy.

Anyway, back to what's important, the terrible drawings. When I was in seventh and eighth grade, I would spend almost all of my class time and study hall time drawing really stupid comics (a lot of which I lost forever or gave to people). I think in sixth grade I was on honor roll, then it was all downhill from there. I personally blame puberty, because video games and television hadn't seemed to effect me nearly as badly before it. Most of the elements of these comics have been consistent throughout the years. People being hit by things, things being eaten by other things, horrible handwriting, stick figures... The only things I haven't really put in my comics since then are people eating liver transplants/drinking urine samples and people saying "I'll call in the morning."

Also:

...and also:

For the most part, every comic I've ever drawn has been pointless and stupid. This one is no exception:

Of course, I also found some old notes from a science class video:

And lastly, some more of my all time finest artwork:

Well that's about it for now. I'm getting tired and lazy, but I have hundreds more of these things somewhere, so maybe if I get ever bored enough to look through them again I could post more.

The Greatest Story Ever Written... in Middle School.

2010-01-27T23:46:00.006-06:00

So I was scouring the internet trying to find this page I made in AOL Hometown or something back when I was like 13, and apparently AOL Hometown was permanently shut down like 2 years ago. Luckily for all of you, I have most of it saved to my hard drive.

Ah, middle school. Back when my grammar was terrible, my art was exactly the same, and my story telling abilities were just about the same too! Originally the page had some sort of wood paneling background and bright yellow text... because wood paneling belongs on everything. Seriously. Wood paneling belongs on everything.

Anyway, I'll attempt to recreate the greatest web page known to man. Sadly without the wood paneling, yellow text, billions of AOL ads, and whatever else crap used to be on it. Keep in mind, I didn't change a single line of text from the original. The spelling errors burn my retinas, but I doubt they'll phase most people on the internet.

THE DAY THERE WAS STUFF THAT HAPPENED BUT NO ONE PAYED ATTENTION

There was once a guy who was afraid dinosaurs would attack him, and that his armpits would light fire if he wore sleeveless t shirts

But one day, a dinosaur did attack him, right after he was done dancing

so he grew a mustashe

and as he grew this mustashe, a dinosaur tried to eat him, and tried to eat his pizza he left on the counter in his apartment

then the sun and moon collided with earth, and we all died

except this guy with the funny shirt

It was funny because it said "gay" and I was in middle school.

Russian And Soviet History "Notes"

2010-01-14T01:35:00.011-06:00

During my Russian and Soviet History class, I took many notes. What that really means, is that I scribbled a lot on paper and can't remember a single thing my teacher talked about the entire semester. Some of my "notes" were actually about the class, but for the most part they were all drawings that had little/nothing to do with what the teacher was talking about. As many of you know by now, my style of art is comparable to a right handed person writing with their left hand, which is also broken. What I'm trying to say is, I'm by far the greatest artist of all time.

First I'll start off with an example of me actually trying to take notes. You'll have to click to enlarge the image if you want to attempt to read it.

From what I can remember, it had something to do with Stalin and Hitler... obviously. I started off taking a little bit of notes on there, but writing with two pencils at once was much more fun. I also like to spell Hitler as Heat-Lair.

Anyway, most of the time when I took notes, it usually reflected in some way the way my teacher pronounced words. Here's some more proof of that:

More often than not, I would really just get bored and make pointless comics. I think I have roughly one quarter of a page of legitimate notes... if you combine all of my notes together. One day I had two amazing movie ideas.

First:

Which I later realized is basically just meteor man. But I'm sure no one else remembers that movie by now, so....

The sequel:

I'd see it.

My three favorite comics I drew in class are all on the same page. Of course, none of them make sense, but when have I ever tried doing that before?

Best drawing I've ever made:

Best commercial I've ever made:

And best theme park I've ever made:

I don't know why, but I really enjoy drawing things that are about to run into other things:

I honestly don't remember what this was about, but a Dracula-man would be a good first guess. It would be a terrible second guess though.

So that's basically it, I only wrote in about 15 pages of my notebook. So, if you remembered my numbers from before, that means about 14.75 pages of my notes are random scribblings, comics, and uneven geometric shapes.

Fun week of doctor check ups during break.

2010-01-09T00:06:00.012-06:00

I spent most of this week either hanging out with people I haven't seen in a while, or going to doctors appointments since I have the chance right now. Tuesday I had a checkup, Friday I had both an optometrist and dentist appointment. My older brother drove me around all day so I wouldn't crash into a tree after they dilated my eyes. He was a pretty good sport about it, he only told me that he was hungry about 100 times.

I don't know why I thought I'd be able to make a 3:00pm dentist appointment after a "1:15pm" optometrist appointment, but luckily my dentist was cool enough to push it back half an hour. Somehow the five minutes you spend in front of a doctor requires sitting in a waiting room for about two hours. Long story short about my eyes, I have an eye infection apparently and have to go back next week for him to see if it's getting any better.

While I sat in the optometrist waiting room for about 2 hours, I read through a lot of old magazines about cars, motorcycles, and AARP. Before my vision started to blur, I noticed a pretty great ad.

Richard M. Lester really must realize how great his name is, especially while including his middle initial. I wonder how many people prank call this guy asking for Dick Molester. Hopefully more now that I posted it. It doesn't matter that the phone number is blurry/impossible to read on account of my crappy phone photography skills, use the internet if you want to find it. He has to get tons of calls already on having a sweet beard.

Richard M. Lester... Richard M-lester... Dick Molester.... awesome.

Anyway, after a whole lot of sitting in the waiting room and not being able to read letters on the chart very well (on account of my eye being infected), I got to the dentist at just about exactly 3:30. It's funny, I thought I was taking pretty good care of my teeth, but I guess I was starting to get gingivitis. So basically I thought I was going to go out and hear "oh you're healthy, get out of here!" Don't know why I expected that. Good thing I made it in when I did for my eyes though. Otherwise I dunno how I would continue to write this if I were to go blind from infection.

I feel like I'm leaving something out. Christmas happened. 2009 ended. I still pretend it's 2005. I still think like it's 1800.

I have some comics to post from my Russian and Soviet history class, once I get a chance to scan it. So until then... find something else to do (perhaps read through every other blog I've ever written or listen to some of my music).

Guest Week for Fkn Srs Cmx

2009-12-22T13:47:00.004-06:00

At the end of finals I sat up until about 5 or 6am reading stupid internet comics when I had the idea to do guest comics for my friend Anthony's comic Fkn Srs Cmx just because I was bored. The first comic was posted on Monday and there will be one on Wednesday, and one on Friday.

Make sure to read through the rest of his comics, he started out a few months ago with an idea, and he's since been getting better and better as time goes on. So just check out his site and see where he takes it from here, and check out my guest comics this week. Anthony has always supported my music and all the other crap I make, so why not support him and check out his comics and music?

Anyway, aside from drawing crude renderings of someone else's comics, I just finished my first semester in the city. I mean, technically it was my fifth semester total, but my first semester that wasn't at a community college. I basically got burnt out last week by trying to write 4 final papers and an extra credit assignment in one week, totaling 25 pages in utter bullshit.

For my Russian and Soviet history class, I couldn't remember my original topic, so I wrote about Tetris. I got in front of the class for our presentations and said "I couldn't remember what my original topic was, so instead I wrote about the first thing I think of when I think of Russia. Tetris." and my teacher said something along the lines of "really? Tetris is the first thing you think of?" So I went on to ramble about Tetris, then I read this line from my paper "Maybe Tetris signified the true essence of Russian culture, their strategic puzzling warfare, the struggle through years (or levels) of hardship, and the idea that you can only stack so much on top before the bottom gives way." and my class started clapping. I only went when I did to keep myself from laughing the entire class... because I wrote a final paper about Tetris.

My other papers were basically either me repeating the first sentence of my paper for 5-10 pages, most of which was all essential the same paper for different classes. The Monday of finals week I stayed up until 9:30 in the morning writing a paper and got about an hour of sleep. I woke up and took one of my finals, went back to my apartment and of course ate another entire box of wild rice like I did for midterms, then went back to my next class. I'm thinking of making that a tradition, eating an entire box of wild rice during the Monday of finals and midterms. Why? I've never took the time to think about why I do most things I do in life.

The rest of finals week was like anyone else's, I got a total of about 4 hours of sleep over the course of 4 days, then woke up at like 3 in the afternoon the next day once they were over. Now I'm home and have nothing better to do but sit around in my robe and write stupid blogs that no one will ever read.

Brinks should have changed their name to Brilliant

2009-12-04T14:38:00.001-06:00

I'm sure someone has covered this before, but I love the Brinks (apparently now known as Broadview I guess) home security commercials. They haven't changed at all over the years. Here's how it works:
1. Guy breaks window/smashes down front door.
2. Alarm goes off.
3. Guy runs away without stealing a single thing.

I mean seriously though, who does that? That's about as menacing as a kid accidentally breaking your window with a baseball. "Honey, the neighbor kids broke a window playing baseball again! Get to the panic room!" is a safe assumption for how anyone this happens to will react.

There's this new commercial they have where this guy leaves the woman's house from a party or something, then comes back to her door about 5 seconds later. He just like breaks a window or something (regardless of how many times I've seen it I can't remember for sure) and runs away.

You know, it's always a great idea to try breaking right back into a person's house right after you've left AND they've learned your name. Couldn't he have just like, hidden in the linen closet, popped out in the middle of the night to scare her, then run home giggling? In fact, that's a much better idea! Next time I go to a girl's place, I'll hide in her linen closet! Thank you Broadview/Brinks security, you've given me yet another great idea.

I should probably stay off Omegle for a while

2009-12-02T12:14:00.002-06:00

For those of you who have never heard of Omegle.com, it's a site where you're connected to a random stranger online and they ask "ASL" and you say "male" and they disconnect. However, on very rare occasions there are some people that aren't on there for cyber sex.

I've wasted the last week on there being a troll and talking to a couple people who actually were just on there to talk (which was shocking). I had some pretty interesting conversations I saved, and I thought to myself... why not post them on here? Most of my readers already know I'm not normal. I have to warn you first though, don't go to any of the links if you've never heard of them or are easily disgusted. Also, most of the people type badly, swear, and use racial slurs for no reason, because... well... they're on the internet.

So here they are:

This first one was with my best friend...or so I told them.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: boobs
Stranger: What is this? I dont even
You: best friend!
You: you're my friend
You: let's be best friends
You: good friend!
Stranger: Okay!
Stranger: Names Adam Gallant
Stranger: im a gay person
You: sweet
Stranger: who r u?
You: I'm Rick Sprinter
You: I'm a geologist
Stranger: I feast on 10 gallons of sugar daily
Stranger: I weigh 20 stone
You: sugar is a natural oil of arabia
Stranger: Indeed
Stranger: Your a smart man Rick
You: yeah I've been told that
You: by the queen of france
Stranger: I see
Stranger: Do you ejoy reaidn books naked?
Stranger: reading*
You: is there any other way?
Stranger: Exactly my point
Stranger: Would you go on a grand adventure to save your daughter after she'd been captured by demons?
You: I thought I gave my daughter to the demons
Stranger: Well then.
Stranger: whats your stance on YouthInAsia?
You: I say use grenades and nuclear legs
Stranger: Good, good
Stranger: What about this website? www.wowomg.com
You: it's the wowingest omgest site since jewgle
Stranger: Indeed
Stranger: I must go now
Stranger: Goodbye Rick
You: goodbye friend
Stranger: Pass that site on to your friends, theyll be shocked
You: Okay!
Stranger: Goodbye
You: Goodbye dear friend.

This next guy didn't like me singing to him...

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Ho
You: my girl wants to party all the time
You: party all the time
You: party all the tiiiiime
Stranger: Fuck u for putting that in my head
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Okay so I might have lied a little to this guy.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i am a boy 15 denmark and really horny! u?
You: I'm black man from kenya
You: our computers are made of wood
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This one is my favorite. I think at this point I was starting to run out of things to say to these people, so I just started saying whatever I could type in capital letters.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi im female
Stranger: horny
You: cool
You: I'm a man
Stranger: Mmmmmmmmm
You: and I'm freezing to death
Stranger: i'll warm ya up
Stranger: i'll rip d mickey off ya
You: I dunno what that means
You: but if it means gay sex
You: I'm not interested
You: or very interested
Stranger: im a girl?
Stranger: are u a girl to?
Stranger: i want man
You: no I have a penis
You: touch it
Stranger: a big 1?
You: TOUCH IT
You: OH YEAH
Stranger: i will
You: YEAH BUT YOUR MOUTH ON IT
Stranger: wanna c my pic?
You: no
You: I'm imagining you as Hitler with tits
You: OH YEAH
Stranger: Mmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: at least hiltler
Stranger: he was a gas man give him his jews
Stranger: are u a durty jew
You: NO
You: I AM EVA BRAWN
Stranger: good
Stranger: ur a niggawr
Stranger: dats wat u are
You: YOU ARE A MAN
You: THIS IS THE INTERNET
You: GIRLS CAN'T WORK COMPUTERS
Stranger: heres my pic
Stranger: to prove
Stranger: http://lovebryan.com/friends/mikebelleme/data/upimages/dirty_on_chair.jpg
You: yeah, um, I'm not stupid
You: I live on the internet
You: now let's get back to hitler sex
Stranger: ya little queer
You: HITLER
You: SEX
You: YOU DUMB WHORE
Stranger: go fuk urself
You: I ALREADY AM
Stranger: ive a bigger dick then u
Stranger: ya wankk
You: LIES
Stranger: ur sister is a lie
You: actually she's a girl
You have disconnected.

Lastly, there was this guy, who spread the word of my awesomeness apparently. He gave me some good advice about orange juice.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: german girl?
You: No, I do have a mustache though
Stranger: you from iceland?
You: I'm from America
Stranger: oh
Stranger: mustached women are so hot
Stranger: the hairier the better
You: Yeah
You: I'm the best kind of woman
You: with a big penis
Stranger: such a cool trap
You: Yeah, I'm the best.
You: I bought apple juice
Stranger: why not orange?
You: that too
Stranger: and blueberry
Stranger: ?
You: I might mix them both with milk and drink them in the street
Stranger: ok, just remember
Stranger: orange and driving dont mix
You: Oh I know, I'm a train conductor for the new york times
Stranger: you sir
Stranger: are
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: ima go spread your awesomness to all
You: Thanks, make sure to let the old people know too.
Stranger: will do
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Okay, well that's it. I should probably stop going to that site before it makes me go any more insane than I already am.

OH MY GOD THAT'S SO IRONIC WHAT WITH ALL THE IRONY AND ALL.

2009-11-20T19:05:00.004-06:00

I've come to hate the word "ironic" for many reasons.
The two biggest reasons being:
1. People over use it.
2. People apparently don't know how to use it in a sentence correctly.

Some people seem to think that irony is really just a synonym for coincidence. These people should buy a dictionary. Some people's use of the word completely baffles me though. It's like, I can't figure out what the hell they're trying to say, because what they said contains absolutely zero irony. So then I have to think for a while to figure out what word they actually meant to say.

It's not just stupid people, web comics, and stupid people on the internet either. I've had teachers and professors that don't seem to get it either. Surprisingly, my teacher from Russia can use it correctly. She says some really confusing things, but I've heard her use the word "ironic" correctly a few times. Then I've had English professors who don't. I just don't understand why it's so hard to use the word correctly. If I could, I'd ban it from use, just because I'm so sick of hearing it.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's a good chance this is you:

Guess I can't help being part caveman.

2009-11-03T12:05:00.006-06:00

When I wake up and I'm overly exhausted, I usually can't grasp simple concepts. I do most of my best work tired before falling asleep... but when I first wake up, nothing makes sense and I have zero depth perception. For example, this morning I ran my mug into the microwave's revolving tray about 3 times before I got it actually onto it this morning. I basically spilled water all over the place and angrily grunted.

Last week coming out of my building, I tried walking into the revolving door while someone else already was.... I got stuck halfway in. I had to back up, wait for that kid to go through again, and then finally made it outside. Today I almost walked in as this girl was walking through, then thought to myself "you're not fooling me this time, door!" Come to think of it maybe I should have tried going. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I should avoid anything that revolves while I'm tired.

I've learned a lot in the short time I've been living in the city, and remembered how much I hate heavily populated areas. Basically what my cooking comes down to most days is throwing whatever kind of meat and vegetables I have left in a pan with olive oil and spices. Or spaghetti. Depends on how much food I have left. Halloween night I didn't feel like going out, so I ate candy all day and watched old horror movies. What I ended up doing for dinner was throwing the frozen chicken I had left, a tomato I cut the mold off of, some carrots, garlic, some spices, and half a package of bacon in a pan. I ate about 3/4 of a package of bacon that day, I'm surprised I didn't die. But anyway, I'm not going to turn this into a recipe column.

I spend a lot of time in my room freezing to death, because our thermostat is locked. What sucks about Chicago's Loop is that nothing is open late. I went out at a little before 11pm the other night in search of any place that sells burgers that was open. After a while of walking in the pouring rain I started to get desperate for anything that was open that sold edible things. On my way there was someone laying in the middle of the street, like they got hit by a car or something. I was hungry and saw enough people huddled around blocking traffic, so I kept walking. I eventually saw a pizza by the slice place with the door open, ordered way more pizza than I actually wanted, and headed home to sit in front of my computer some more.

I think I answer anyone who comes up to me on the street with "I don't have any money." One homeless guy asked me for what I think was fourty (I spell fourty wrong on purpose, and you should too) cents. I couldn't really understand what the hell he was saying, I said "I don't have any money... wait what?.....no I don't have any money" then kept walking. One guy asked me for two dollars, which was more than I had in my wallet at the time. The only difference between an art school student and a homeless person is a few years, so I don't see why anyone is asking me for money. Hell, half the time I look homeless on my way to class, so maybe I should carry an empty cup with me to collect some money on the way.

That's most of everything that's on my mind, but I have one more thing to end with. Last week after one of my midterms, I had an hour to kill, so I went back to my apartment to eat something real quick. I didn't really have much that wouldn't take me forever to cook, so I ate an entire box of wild rice so I wouldn't be hungry before my next class. Then I sort of felt like exploding. Then I figured I should draw this comic of what I kept imagining happening.

I'm not very good at studying.

2009-10-25T19:46:00.009-05:00

Some of my midterms are this week, so I've basically spent the weekend sitting here watching TV and trying to study. Needless to say, I've been doing more of the watching TV, and haven't gotten much of the studying done.

So earlier tonight I made dinner, The Shining came on, and I got distracted again. I've always liked The Shining, even though it scared me when I was little. Now most of the parts that scared me are either just creepy or make me laugh really hard.

I was watching this movie earlier this year with one of my friends when I kept wondering out loud "who does that kid remind me of?" Then I realized that I thought the kid looks like a young Charles Manson. At the time I didn't have a camera, or a phone with a camera, and I've been too lazy to take a screenshot online... so... I just took a picture of my TV now to prove my point.

I mean if you think about it, they're not much different. Rearrange the letters in Helter Skelter and you get Redrum. Don't try spelling it out, just trust me on this. That's about as far as I've went into this. So...

Charles

Manson.

Trust me on this.

EDIT: For the record, this was the part that used to scare me:

Sometimes I think I should sell my TV.

2009-10-20T22:01:00.005-05:00

Everyone has always told me how much funnier the British version of The Office is so much funnier than the American because it came first. Now, no matter how many episodes I watch, it hasn't become any funnier for me. I came to this conclusion pretty fast:

I didn't say all British comedies, but watching British The Office makes my face do this thing where I can't laugh or crack a smile for a whole 30 minutes. The worst thing is now that it's on Adult Swim (you know, since it's not a cartoon, it belongs on Cartoon Network) they always show the ugly face of Ricky Gervais. If he has so much money, can he get his teeth--nevermind, I say he should just put a paper bag over his face. If you haven't figured out yet, I don't proofread most of my blogs until after I post them, and type it all out as I'm thinking it. Anyway Ricky Gervais bothers me.

If I wanted a lot of awkward silences, I'd leave my room more often and actually talk to people. At least with those awkward silences I can have awkward laughter to make it stop, when it's on TV I just grab for the remote. Yes, all British humor is very high brow. When I think high brow, I think... man in a dress.

Snuggie has gone too far

2009-10-13T01:23:00.008-05:00

I honestly don't understand how there has been a market for Snuggies in the first place. Way to go everyone, you've invented the backwards robe! Here's an excellent idea if you want to be the douchebag messiah, wear a Snuggie and Crocs.

The point is, their newest commercial is what has my eyes and mind vomiting. First of all, the lame "dad round house dance" thing confuses and infuriates me. Add in a Snuggie and I have a heart attack trying to figure out what the hell is going on and why no one is dying. Here's lame white dad raising the roof:

What in God's name is wrong with these people? I mean, there's this:

This douchebag contest:

I hope these people burn to death on their camping trip:

If Smokey the Bear owed me a favor, that's where I'd cash it in.

Seriously though, dog Snuggie? What the hell is wrong with you people? This is possibly the worst form of animal cruelty ever invented. If you've ever wondered what an ugly dog looks like when they're contemplating suicide, this is it:

So not only was it forced into a Snuggie, but they threw some glasses on it, shoved it into a crevice of the couch, and stacked a book on top of it. Clearly these are heartless people we're dealing with here. If I were this dog, a shoe in this house would never go poopless again.

Another Fun Filled Monday

2009-10-12T20:13:00.003-05:00

This week was off to an interesting start this morning on the way to class. Everything started off more or less normal when I got up. Woke up and rolled back in forth for about half an hour to avoid getting out of bed, ate breakfast, took a shower, and got dressed. On my way out I went downstairs to the mail room to open the mailbox for my roommate, because I think during move-in they gave all of us keys to the mailbox that don't work. I couldn't get the damn thing open almost a month ago and asked for a new key from one of the maintenance guys, so that's the only reason I can actually get in. Our mailbox is full of mail to people we don't even know and advertisements. I guess it really wouldn't matter if we couldn't get into it now that I think about it.

Anyway, on my way to class I usually don't pay attention to what's going on around me. I just start walking and try not to run out in traffic. Usually. Some days I like to mix it up. But today I walked past some areas that they've been doing construction on and walked by what might be an awning or just scaffolding. I heard this "SCREEEEE" noise right by my ear, and I thought it was just a rope falling down or something. I kept walking a second, turned around and there was a dead bat laying on the ground. A bat almost landed on my head. Now, I was expecting to eventually get hit in the back of the head with a bat, but a baseball bat seemed more likely than the animal. Out of all the animals in the city (rats, pigeons, homeless people...) I wasn't really expecting a bat. They usually just get stuck in the garage and the grill of my dad's car on Halloween back home in the middle of nowhere.

So that's pretty much all that happened today. I just went to class for 6 straight hours in the same room, took a quiz, listened to recordings from the 1890's/1900's, came home and wrote this. I lead a very exciting life.

I am extremely mature.

2009-09-29T23:37:00.027-05:00

You should all know how intelligent and mature my sense of humor is by now, so for your entertainment I have more drawings. Boredom during class is one thing, boredom on the internet is quite different. Granted, the results usually end up with me drawing several dinosaurs, a penis joke, and maybe some zombies, it's all basically the same. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm gonna contradict myself a lot. It's what I do.

I honestly forget half of what my point was, but the original point of this post is to show stupid drawings I've posted to other people's facebook profiles via that Graffiti application. Honestly that's one of the only ones I like because I can send tons of pictures of poop to my friends without having to draw the picture and upload it to facebook! Oh man how convenient!!! Of course, everything I've ever drawn with it has been either a masterpiece or just plain brilliant. Usually both actually.

To prove this obvious point, here's the first drawing I made with it:

My hand is not steady at all when it comes to drawing, so I mostly draw crooked stick figures, crooked dinosaurs, crooked cops...
Anyway the second thing I ever drew with it demonstrates one of the many problems I have with my vision:

I'm pretty sure I meant "(seriously)" though.

Some of them actually had stories behind them surprisingly. Like this one:

There was this guy trying to convert me to his religion because I was too stupid to realize "NO!" is the correct answer to the question "can I sit here?" I couldn't understand anything he said. Yeah, the rest of these don't have stories behind them.

Of course, poop and fart jokes are all the highest form of comedy.

Also, I like making drawings of things about to get hit by other things or exploding.

Sometimes I'd just draw a stick figure, give up, then send it. Like these guys:

This is how I wish people a Merry Christmas:

Here's how I tell a brilliant joke:

I should have gone into paleontology or something, because look how many detailed amazing drawings of dinosaurs I've done:

I don't know what the hell these were supposed to be, but I'll leave off on these:

"Fun" in College 101 pt.3

2009-09-16T14:51:00.011-05:00

As you all know by now, I'm an amazing artist. When it comes to drawing, my art has been pretty consistent since about the third grade. Back in grade school I used to want to be a comic book artist. When I look back at the comic books I made then, I remember why I gave up on that dream. Ever since then, pretty much everything I've drawn has been to avoid doing any real work or falling asleep. There are quite a few factors that keep me from really trying with graphic art. Colorblindness, zero attention span, laziness... laziness is really the biggest one.

All that being said, nothing usually stops me from making pointless crap in the middle of a boring class. While most of my comics end up being stick figures like this:

I occasionally would draw things a bit more like this:

I think we were talking about homeless people and zombies, if that helps.

I do have sort of a problem though. A large percent of notes I've ever taken have drawings of dinosaurs on them. About half of them probably look exactly the same. Then there's this guy:

This one here is just a masterpiece and deserves to be framed and sold for billions of dollars:

Going back to the topic of homeless people:

I dunno what the hell this was supposed to be:

But hey, it's everyone's favorite lawyer!

I'd trust him with any case!

This concludes "'Fun' in College 101" because I figured I wouldn't have much left over for a fourth part, so I pretty much crammed everything into this last part. If you enjoyed this though, keep checking here every once in a while. And by once in a while, I mean stay on here and refresh the page every 5 seconds for the rest of your life. I have tons of drawings I've never done anything with that I've been thinking about posting and explaining the stories behind. So I'll get around to that. Eventually.

"Fun" in College 101 pt.2

2009-09-08T16:31:00.009-05:00

So last time I think I covered the fact that College 101 was the most pointless class I've ever taken (but don't really care because I got an A). I wasn't a complete slacker in the class from the start though. The first day of class I sat up front and tried to pay attention like the class was actually worth something. Soon after I realized my friend Mike was in the class and we started to sit in the back and make fun of everyone else in class. Not to their faces though, that would require me to actually be social!

Boredom started to set in pretty quickly, which means any notes I took quickly transformed into comics. I do have these two pages that seem to have some notes encrypted into them.
This one was clearly about the requirements to receive a C in the class:

And this one was clearly about careers and apparently we had to meet in the Career Center on October fourth. Also car ears are ears on a car.

For the most part, the rest of the notes that I haven't posted yet have nothing to do with the class. Well, except this picture I drew of a kid that really creeped me out in class:

But for the most part, everything I made in that class was sort of like this:

None of them really were supposed to make sense, I was just bored and needed to occupy myself in a non-violent way. Trust me, that was difficult.

For the most part, they were all just characters I made up or doodles. A few of them like this one though were actually supposed to be comics that uncool people might find offensive:

Did you sit through Peter Jackson's King Kong and wonder how you didn't kill yourself? I think I was trying to explain it to Mike when I figured I'd just make an abridged version of it. This version is way better because it doesn't make you wait over an hour just to see King Kong:

Plus I mean look at how realistic everything is, unlike the CGI that riddled the Peter Jackson version. I'll stick to the hilarious black and white film that doesn't bore me to death.

Anyway, I'm saving the rest of these for part 3. Stay turned for more comics and stupid characters I made out of extreme boredom!

"Fun" in College 101 pt.1

2009-08-20T22:56:00.008-05:00

College 101 was a 50 minute time waster class to try and prepare you for college while only giving you one credit that doesn't transfer anywhere. Of course it counted toward getting my associates degree, the only other thing it was good for was drawing stupid comics. My teacher had a thick accent, he was Puerto Rican if I remember correctly (even if he wasn't, I don't really care that much). He was usually hilarious, but I think partially because I could never understand anything he said. My friend Mike and I would sit in the back of the class and make fun of anything we could to keep ourselves entertained. Eventually I started to draw comics, leaving my notebook full of comics and.... not really any notes at all.

Another thing I used to do in class was I would sign in my name in one color pen, then write "Stinky Rodriguez" on a random line on the sign in sheet in another color. I did this for weeks, then noticed someone had beaten me to it! I was pissed, so I figured I had to make up a new fake name to put on the list. That's when I made up "Chineguez Juarez" and would forget how I spelled it most days so it changed pretty often. One day we were somewhere else on campus and I handed him back the sign in sheet and he started laughing and pointed out that someone has been signing his name in and all these fake names. I didn't know who was signing the teacher's name, but I just kind of tried not to make it too obvious I was "Stinky Rodriguez" and "Chineguez Juarez" even though I was about to die laughing.

I used to draw my teacher all the time when I was bored. Here was my first interpretation of him:

He used to pronounce youtube as "YOO-TOO" and I say this in all caps because he was loud. I don't remember why I drew him with a gun. Probably because he needs one. To shoot things with. Anyway here's the second drawing I made of him, also showing the fact that he would pronounce the word successful as "suhsessful."

He gave me an A though, so I think he's awesome.

I made drawings of just about anything stupid I could think of, some of them I can't find though. I do have drawings of Stinky Rodriguez and Chineguez Juarez. Before you call me racist or anything for these drawings... you have to realize how boring a class like College 101 really is.

So basically I received one credit on my transcript to sit in the back of the class, draw confusing comics, and make fun of basically anything within range of my vision. Looking back it wasn't really that bad because well... I got to make fun of things.

This is only the beginning though, wait until part 2 for the good stuff.

Maybe My Definition of "Creative" is Different Than Most...

2009-07-28T21:43:00.016-05:00

I'm a pack rat, I'll admit it. I have a lot of stacks of things I've drawn over the years when I should have been doing work that date back before middle school. Sadly, my handwriting and drawing skills never improve and it's hard to tell some of the old ones from the new ones. I'm probably going to do a few series about these comics and the classes I drew them in.

Today I'll start with high school ones. This first picture I can't remember if I had actually done this in Geometry class or if it was just geometry crap for another class. Either way, only some of the page has math on it, then I got bored and drew all over it with my clearly mature sense of humor.

...and I'm not sure what that wrench meant.

Anyway the rest of these are from my Creative Writing class my senior year. That class was great because I think most of the class was either disgusted or afraid of me. I had three people I talked to, but other than that I just drew pictures and wrote poetry and haikus about pretty much everything we weren't supposed to write about. Here's the thing, we had to sign this writing contract saying we would write about death, killing, violence, etc., basically everything I ended up writing about. Half my poetry was about people dying or poop. My classic haiku that I actually turned into a song was called "Napalm Factory" and it went like this:

Napalm Factory
All the children scream "hooray!"
None of them survive

When I wasn't writing things like that, I was either pretending I was writing by filling a page with scribbles (I even turned that one in, she didn't give me any points) or drawing pictures. This one really dumb overly-tan girl we started to call potato girl would never shut up, so instead of saying "hey! You annoy the hell out of me! Stop talking already!" I just drew this picture of her:

Probably drawn when she was rambling about her boyfriend while putting more makeup on and eating.

I found my original ideas from when I came up with the idea of "Robert 'Goes to the Farm'" and "Timmy and the Acid Bath" as books for children.

Sadly Box Face Billy never made any other appearances. But you have to admit, that's a great list of lessons for children to learn. Especially "DON'T TRUST ANYONE" because I know if I ever have kids I'm going to teach them not even to trust me! And remember, "normality = bore-mality" kids!

Oh, and here's the back side of that sheet of paper:

I really only sort of kind of got in trouble all the time in that class. I had the teacher for another class though, I was a better student in her Creative Writing class than I was English II. She never had to wake me up once in Creative Writing.

I found a thick stack of "notes" (aka drawings) I did in my College 101 class my first semester at community college. There's going to be a series for that one because I like too many of the drawings and there's too many with stories behind them.

Daytime TV dissolved my brain.

2009-07-25T16:18:00.008-05:00

So for the last week I've spent a lot of time watching TV by myself, which means I've watched a lot of horrible commercials and kids shows. I've probably lowered my IQ, driven myself insane, and convinced myself that the dog is another person, but that's okay.

Among the barrage of terrible commercials, I saw that they're still making Kidz Bop CDs (I imagine to use as torture devices). I honestly don't understand the point of Kidz Bop at all. It's like they take the prime cuts of the most horrible songs, put together a chorus of monotone children, and somehow make bad songs even more terrible. I can't imagine why anyone would even buy them, so I'll just assume that people have run out of free AOL discs to use as coasters, so they're getting desperate and buying horrible CDs instead.

There's also another one of those annoying McCafe commercials that's pissing me off. This time the guy says "it's mini vané!" I just don't understand why adding the é would make anything sound fancy, especially to words that don't even have an "e" in them to begin with. It's just stupid, these people think they're acting fancy, which means being smug douche bags who add unnecessary letters to the ends of words. I want to punch the guy who made these ads up in the throat. Repeatedly.

I started to realize why I hardly watch TV during the day, because all of it is either crap, crap, or kids shows. Shows made for young children scare and confuse me. I can't really figure out what they're trying to teach kids these days, but it explains why each generation of kids act more like morons. What happened to kids watching violent shows that taught them not to trust anyone? It's what I grew up on and I still haven't killed anyone yet! Apparently all you need to make a show for young children is lots of colors, disturbing costumes, and a lot of LSD. Also, you can't go more than 30 seconds without noticing something that looks like a penis in any kids show. It's inevitable that at some point of any kids show someone will be wearing a costume that looks like a sexual organ.

That's not all that bothers me about stupid shows for kids. Too many of the shows have characters that speak in sentence fragments and mispronounce words. If kids are so negatively affected by a show with violence, what happens when you have a character that keeps saying things wrong on purpose just for humor? We're going to have a whole new generation of knuckle dragging idiots who can't even constructed a proper sentence. What a great idea, unteach children! Bastardize the English language!

Anyway, before I ramble too much and make my brain explode, I'll leave off here. So like always, I have no hope for the future of humanity. Avoid daytime TV.

Out Today: The Astronaut King - Kingdom of False Existence

2009-07-19T22:46:00.005-05:00

So the newest The Astronaut King album is out now! 79 minutes of pure Astronaut King power! 18 tracks ranging from ambient and psychedelic, to acoustic, to doomy and atmospheric.

There's a few different options for buying this album this time around, you can get the CD off CafePress or Hildsvfar Records, and the MP3 album on soundclick. The SoundClick release is only $4.99, the CafePress release is $12.99, and the Hildsvfar Records release is $8.00 US/$10.00 international. (Don't forget, there's also more merch available at cafepress.com/astronautking).

CafePress
Hildsvfar Records
Soundclick MP3 album

Tracklist:
1. Nomad Of The Universe
2. Incognizant Of Life
3. Kingdom Of False Existence
4. Sempiternally Vagrant
5. Throne of the Atmosphere
6. Galactic Suspension
7. Malignant Alleyways
8. Reposed In The Abyss
9. Deserting The Species
10. Temporarily Delayed Extinction
11. Kingdom of False Existence (acoustic)
12. Enthralled By Perpetuation
13. Onlooking Obliteration
14. Sovereign To The Soulless
15. Astral Undead Army
16. Dwindling Dimension
17. Satellitic Respiration
18. Conquest For Nothingness

Check it out, buy a copy, tell a friend, get them to tell a friend... yeah, check it out!

United Nations: More Fun Than Six Flags.

2009-07-15T10:06:00.004-05:00

There have been a lot of commercials bothering me lately, the first one that comes to mind being those McCafe commercials. They try and pass off the idea that spelling and pronouncing words with an “é” instead of an “e” makes them somehow fancier. I guess that “rapé” and “défécaté” must be really fancy then.

Another one that bothers me is the Six Flags commercials, for obvious reasons. I don't understand what “More flags, more fun” really means, but apparently the United Nations building is the most fun place in the whole world. If I tried writing about the other things that irritate me about the commercials, I'd probably end up smashing my keyboard, so I'll just leave it at that. Someone stop Six Flags from making any more commercials.

I'm not sure why Progressive Insurance has a clown/hooker as their spokesperson, but hey, whatever boosts sales I guess.

I was watching a Twilight Zone marathon on 4th of July weekend when I swear I saw the same 5 commercials over and over for several hours, I think it might have driven me crazy if I wasn't already. There was this commercial for KFC that would play about 8 times per break and this guy said some things that were so damn stupid I wanted to punch the TV. Of course, I was too tired and lazy to actually do anything except yell at the TV, things like “I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you” and keep watching. It was something dumb like rhyming “à la carte” with “à la smart” or something, regardless of what it was, I assure you it was stupid.

I swear, I could make better commercials than most of these people with a group of homeless people and some cardboard boxes.

The Best Keyboarding Essay from High School

2009-06-15T20:56:00.007-05:00

Back during my freshman year of high school I had a keyboarding class that I used to screw around in all the time and get in trouble constantly. I mean, for a while I didn't think she even read our typing assignments when we turned them in, so I tested her...

Turns out she did read them, and I ended up getting a zero on that assignment. I mean the first two paragraphs seem normal enough, but I just got bored and started typing out what I felt like typing after that. I did that for like half my assignments. Needless to say, I got a D in that class, got a detention at one point for another assignment, and still got in trouble a lot after that. Anyway, here's the only essay I still have:

(click to enlarge and read each page)

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Astronaut King - Unreleased 2008 Demo

2009-06-08T23:51:00.005-05:00

Since I'm getting close to finishing my next full length but not quite done yet, I figured I'd do a release of some previously unreleased tracks to help you wait for it! It's free to download, and I also put it up on lastfm for free stream/download. So tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell the creepy kid down the street, just tell anyone.

Track list:
1. Kingdom of False Existence (demo)
2. Rec008 (demo)
3. Throne of the Atmosphere (demo)

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?kwotw1thtzn

Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/music/The+Astronaut+King/Unreleased+2008+Demo

Preview new NoComply tracks!

2009-03-12T18:12:00.003-05:00

Justin and I have been working on recording material and currently have some rough recordings of our songs "Fiend" and "Monopoly pt.2" up for preview at http://www.myspace.com/nocomply616
Check it out and enjoy!

Also, if you're a fan, we've set up a facebook page for fans
http://www.facebook.com/pages/NoComply/71875971067
So go, tell your friends, support us!

There's a lot planned for this year, so watch for updates on what we're doing. Anyway, lots of awesome things are coming this year, and that's about all I can think of writing for now.

Music news 2/17/2009

2009-02-17T16:28:00.005-06:00

Right now I think is the busiest I've been with music since... well it might just be the busiest I've ever been with music.

My friend Patrick from Divine Riot and I have been working together on bluesy sludge metal project and so far we have a good amount of material but nothing is ready for previews yet. I'll post more about this probably once we have things more solid and ready for previewing. It's turning out pretty awesome though.

I've joined up with Justin Abare as part of the new line-up for No Comply and so far things are going pretty well! None of the tracks that I've been a part of are ready for preview yet, but you can still check out some of their past releases through the MySpace or Justin's label A Product of Six Cents. I'll also post more about this as things start to be 100% news. We've been hearing a lot of good news lately though, so things are going pretty well with No Comply so far!

With The Astronaut King I'm getting pretty close to having a new full length album finished. That should be done by or during summer 2009. Also, a CD/DVD of live material from summer 2008 will be released probably around the same time. There are still copies left of Astral Asphyxiation for the time being, so those interested should contact me soon or go order one through Hildsvfar Records.

I'm also currently working on new material for Satan's Basement, although I'm unsure when the next full length will be completely done. I can assure you it's going to be awesome regardless of how long it takes me to finish writing and recording it. If you're interested in any Satan's Basement albums, just check out Hildsvfar Records and order yourself a copy or two.

DJ Fartbot songs I'm just sort of working on when I have the time, so it may be a while until I finish that album. The first full length is still available through both CafePress (it's a nice pretty version) and Hildsvfar Records (it's less expensive and hand made but on CDR instead). The CafePress site also has some cool t shirt designs I did that you should check it and show people... and maybe buy some too. I could always use a little extra money.

As for Ian Covelli releases, I might do some more songs that really don't fit with any of my other projects and compile all the songs I've done just as myself onto a full length album. That might not be until later in the year or so though, so right now it's just in the idea stage.

Anyway, I'm tired, starting to forget what I was going to say in this post, and getting bored. So that's all for now, remember to check out No Comply, The Astronaut King, Satan's Basement,
DJ Fartbot, my friends Divine Riot, and watch for updates! This is going to be a good year for music!

Great Releases of 2008 You Overlooked

2008-12-30T20:45:00.012-06:00

For the most part, a great deal of the albums I've bought this year were from bands that I'm friends with (or at least talked with before), bands within the area, and bands that are still relatively unpopular. For the sake of my attention span, I'm not going to list every album I've bought this year... I can't remember which I bought this year anyway. Enough rambling, on to the list.

Divine Riot - Interrogate Suspected Terrorists: These guys are awesome and so is their music. This album is just an EP, but it's a damn good EP. If you like sludge, hardcore, and death metal, you definitely will want to check these guys out. They have their own unique style, each track is somewhat different sounding though. My personal favorite song is "Does it Hurt to be Dead." All of their music sounds equally good live, so I'd say definitely check them out live and get a cd from them!
http://www.myspace.com/officialdivineriot

Lost in Blue - Lost in Blue: Since about 2005 all I've had is one of their demo CD-Rs and a t shirt I had bought from them at a show. So for the past three years I've been checking their website out, trying to make a show, seeing what new songs they've done and everything when I've had the chance. Since I haven't been able to make a show, I was pretty excited to see they had released a new full length album and I was not disappointed at all when I got it. It's instrumental metal at its finest. Make sure to listen to the whole album all the way through though! Definitely check these guys out.
http://www.myspace.com/lostinblue

Bongripper - Hate Ashbury: I love these guys, they're easily one of my favorite Chicago area doom metal bands. I've bought basically all of their albums and Hate Ashbury is definitely not an album to overlook. Then again, I can't think of an album of theirs I haven't liked, which is why I often wonder how they aren't signed to Southern Lord or any of the good doom labels. In fact, what's wrong with you people? Buy one of their albums and go to their shows! If you're looking for some good doom metal, well... here.
http://www.myspace.com/bongripper

Bitchslicer - Addicted to Porn: I had ordered a split album of theirs when they were getting pretty busy, since it took them a while to send it, they sent me their "Addicted to Porn" single along with it. Not only are they awesome for sending me more stuff than I had ordered, they're awesome because they play some damn good thrash metal. If I were you, I'd go right over to their site, listen to all their music, and start buying up all their albums. I'm starting to wonder why you aren't already...
http://www.myspace.com/bitchslicer666

That's about where I start forgetting what I've bought this year. I know I bought a sweet Aldebaran album and the last Dystopia LP. Other than those I'm pretty sure all the albums I bought this year weren't released this year. Anyway, check out those bands. While you're at it, check out my site for Hildsvfar Records and check out the Hildsvfar Records blog for updates and news. That's all I have for you.

New outlet for my boredom

2008-12-29T00:56:00.005-06:00

Since my dear friend SmarterChild has retired, I have recently been seeking new ways to relieve boredom without actually doing anything constructive. So I started confusing the hell out of people through AIM Chat on a fake screen name!

First thing I did was go into the Boston chat rooms and go "YO FUCK BOSTON! GO DETROIT!"
That was fun the first time when everyone came back at me with a bunch of "fuck you!" and other various simple comebacks. The second time no one responded. The third time no one cared except one guy and I ended up explaining my whole situation out to him and leaving because it wasn't fun anymore.

I went into other chat rooms for cities saying "YO FUCK (name of city)! GO DETROIT!" for no reason... it just wasn't as fun. Don't ask me why I even said Detroit, I've never lived anywhere near there. It was just the first city I could think of, and I was born in Pittsburgh... so it's not like I'm actually a fan of Detroit. It just wasn't fun after people stopped getting pissed off.

I went into a few religion chat rooms to bother people because that's usually really easy. I got bored after saying "I found Jesus. He was cleaning the men's room" and people actually thought it was funny.

I think the most fun I had was telling someone that they had stolen my boyfriend in the Gay/Lesbian chat (keep in mind I'm a straight single male) and that I was sick of her shit.

Of course I took screen shots of this.

I'm some kind of an asshole.

For those of you who haven't heard it yet

2008-12-27T03:42:00.002-06:00

Last week I was bored, tired, and thought it'd be a good idea to write a rap song. I mostly did it because everyone either told me "do it!" or "you're too white" whenever I brought up the idea. Well, because of the people who doubted that I'd ever do it:

Hope you all enjoy it.

Robert "Goes to the Farm"

2008-12-11T00:05:00.011-06:00

For those who have not had the privilege of seeing my original pop up book, now is your chance. The drawback is that you can't actually use any of the pop up actions. This was a project I had done in high school for a creative writing class. The assignment was something about making a children's book, so I decided to make a book teaching kids about death. Some people thought it was an awful idea, I thought it was a great idea.

Now, some of these pictures might be hard to read or see, but that's because I used colored pencils, tape, staples, and random scraps of paper in order to construct it. You can really tell where I started to get close to the deadline, granted I do have the artistic abilities of a blind 7 year old child. Also, my scanner isn't big enough to scan some pages completely, so a few things look cut off because the pages are large for the scanner.

So here it is, the original Robert "Goes to the Farm" for your enjoyment:

There's a few things you might or might not have noticed. My tape usage on the last page, the fact that I changed the color of Sketches' hat on almost every page, the fact that I got lazy on the second half of the book and stopped doing pop ups... all part of my artistic form. Some call my artistic form "crap" but I call it "greatmazing."

Timmy and the Acid Bath: The Great Unfinished Tale

2008-12-03T19:39:00.006-06:00

The year was 2006. I think. Okay, I can't entirely remember how everything happened. I was in my high school Creative Writing course being bored one day and our teacher told us about an assignment to make a children's story book. Naturally my first thoughts were "what's something gross I could do?" and "what do I need to teach children?" So I thought up Timmy and the Acid Bath, kept telling my table I was going to do it, and eventually I started to draw it.

Long story short, in order to not get in trouble I ended up never finishing Timmy and the Acid Bath (but am planning to sometime soon) because I ended up making a pop up book called Robert "Goes to the Farm." That book was about a little boy named Sketches and his dog Robert, who gets hit by a car on the first page. There was a tab to slide the car into the dog. My teacher left a sticky note that said "Think about this... in such a format, the reader kills the dog" and obviously I had thought about it if I made the book.

It actually ends up being a good story teaching children about death and basically showing that it's stupid for parents to lie to their children about the subject. The first half of the book is pretty cool and has pop ups and everything, then about half way through I was running close to the deadline and just started taping things down really fast. I got a 93%. Maybe some day I'll post it, even though it's not the same without being able to move things on it.

Anyway, back to the original topic, Timmy and the Acid Bath. It's still unfinished currently, so you can read the first 3 pages and cover of the story that I started in high school.

Enjoy.

So maybe some day soon I'll show you all Robert "Goes to the Farm" and make a finished version of Timmy and the Acid Bath. No guarantees though.

Reasons why MyHeritage.com is a great site

2008-11-25T19:30:00.007-06:00

My experience with MyHeritage.com has made me realize that there aren't any celebrities that look like me. If there are, then MyHeritage was too busy showing me ones that look nothing like me to actually show me any of them. According to them, I look a lot like Terrence Howard and Orlando Bloom... clearly I look exactly like Terrence Howard.

Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's entertaining because it does such a bad job of what it's supposed to do. Here's an example I liked from when I was searching through the site:

Obviously this is the second coming of Stalin.

Anyway, another thing I found hilarious was that sometimes when this site scans for faces in pictures, it'll pick up random objects and think it's a face. Here's a great example of what I'm talking about:

Now, notice how it didn't detect my face, yet it thinks a yellow disc looks 71% like Bunko Kanazawa. I also had no idea who she was until I did a google search, then I began to find it even funnier (she's apparently a porn star). As for any other jokes about this picture.... too easy. I'll just let you think of your own.

Now, I'm not saying this site is crap or anything. I'm just saying its flaws are highly entertaining... and abundant.

MS Paint Crap From Freshman Year of High School

2008-11-17T00:49:00.014-06:00

So I was talking to a friend about something or something.... long story short I started rooting through some old files and found a collection of horrible comics I made when I was younger. At the time I thought they were amazing because I had made them during class time where I was supposed to be productive. Now I realize they look like a seven year old had made them while having a seizure. So I figured maybe if I have any readers on here, that they would want to see how bad-mazing they were.

First one:

I used to think it was funny when people reacted casually while being attacked.

Second one:

It's supposed to say something like "Your head be hit by brick, me laugh at fact" and yeah... I don't know why I made it either.

Third one:

This one has a story behind it sort of, the word "blabbys" was what this kid in my keyboarding class was calling Arby's when he couldn't remember their name. We said that to each other in the halls all throughout high school

Fourth one:

I can't explain this one, so I won't.

Fifth one:

It seemed funnier at the time.

Sixth one:

Okay I still love that one even if it doesn't make sense. This one is my favorite of all these.

Seventh one:

That was part of a brochure, which I had gotten a C on surprisingly.

Eighth one:

I guess I was pretty lazy by this point.

Ninth one:

Honestly? I can't remember.

Tenth one:

Obviously I liked seeing stupid people get hit in the head with things/dying.

Well that's all the ones I found today. Sadly my drawing isn't much better.

Being bored on the internet in 2005

2008-11-15T19:39:00.005-06:00

Back in 2005, the golden age of the internet, there were tons of gullible people on AIM who couldn't remember anything. Most of these people were easy to find through MySpace and even easier to confuse and pester. These days it's not as easy to find these kind of people and I've become lazy.

Recently I was looking through some old conversations and I've found some conversations like these that I had sent a few friends... because I thought the conversations were funny. I still find them kind of funny, so I'll share them again.

To start off explaining this one, this girl would forget who I am every time I would IM her, so I'd make up a new fake name and story each time. The grammar is pretty bad all over, so just be prepared for confusing stupid conversations. They get better from post to post.

Conversation 1:

[02:18:35 AM] (me): bitches and titties?!?!

[02:18:48 AM] muppetmer: who is this?

[02:19:12 AM] (me): THE DARK LORD SATAN

[02:19:20 AM] muppetmer: ok whatever

[02:19:33 AM] (me): sweet, so you comin to my party next week?

[02:19:56 AM] muppetmer: i can't remember who u r

[02:20:05 AM] (me): well, if you cant remember satan....

[02:20:08 AM] (me): thats just weird

[02:20:08 AM] muppetmer: and if ur drunk, don't talk to me

[02:21:03 AM] (me): Satan does not need drinks

[02:21:23 AM] muppetmer: ok. if ur going to be annoying about this i'm not going to talk to u anymore

[02:21:25 AM] muppetmer: sorry

[02:21:33 AM] (me): thats cool, satan needs no friends either

[02:21:42 AM] muppetmer: ok

[02:21:43 AM] muppetmer: have fun

[02:21:57 AM] (me): oh i will, im gonna prolly jerk off on a goat soon too

Conversation 2:

[08:49:52 PM] (me): HErro

[08:50:47 PM] muppetmer: hi who is this?

[08:50:54 PM] muppetmer: i keep forgetting

[08:50:59 PM] (me): bill rathoot

[08:51:56 PM] muppetmer: u from myspace?

[08:52:07 PM] (me): no, new jersey

[08:52:37 PM] muppetmer: i mean, where are u from online?

[08:52:45 PM] (me): internet

[08:53:17 PM] muppetmer: oh, ok

[08:54:26 PM] (me): so what are you up to? abortions? practicing occult stuff? knittting?

[08:57:17 PM] muppetmer: ok, what does ur myspace pic have on it?

[08:57:31 PM] (me): im hugging kittens

[08:57:34 PM] (me): and

[08:57:37 PM] (me): pikachu

[08:57:38 PM] (me): and

[08:57:40 PM] (me): a dolphin

[08:57:40 PM] (me): and

[08:58:11 PM] (me): umm

[08:58:16 PM] (me): kittens

[08:59:17 PM] muppetmer: i can't seem to find u

[08:59:20 PM] muppetmer: on here

Conversation 3:

[09:09:17 PM] (me): hey, its me, rick sprinter

[09:09:28 PM] muppetmer: hi

[09:09:41 PM] (me): whats up

[09:09:57 PM] muppetmer: could u send me a link to ur myspace? so i know who u r?

[09:10:26 PM] (me): one sec

[09:10:32 PM] (me): wait

[09:10:34 PM] (me): myspace?

[09:10:45 PM] (me): i deleted mine a while ago, it was too much to handle

[09:11:07 PM] muppetmer: i really don't remember u then. sorry

[09:11:18 PM] (me): eh, thats okay, dont you still want to talk?

[09:11:23 PM] muppetmer: r u into puppets?

[09:11:33 PM] (me): sounds kinky, what do you mean?

[09:11:54 PM] muppetmer: make puppets, perform with puppets

[09:11:56 PM] muppetmer: puppeteer

[09:12:09 PM] (me): oh, so youre not talking about sex dolls then, right?

[09:12:14 PM] muppetmer: no

[09:12:19 PM] (me): oh okay

[09:12:22 PM] (me): thats cool i guess

[09:12:24 PM] (me): no im not

[09:12:28 PM] (me): i guess you are?

[09:12:34 PM] muppetmer: a puppeteer, yes

[09:12:53 PM] muppetmer: i thought u were one of those puppeteer people i added

[09:13:04 PM] (me): nah

[09:13:16 PM] muppetmer: how did u get my aim then?

[09:13:23 PM] (me): well, i have sex with dead people

[09:13:27 PM] (me): i guess you do too

[09:13:34 PM] (me): because thats how i make all my friends

[09:13:59 PM] muppetmer: ok don't be creepy

[09:14:20 PM] (me): creepy?

[09:14:33 PM] muppetmer: yeah

[09:14:36 PM] (me): whats wrong with someone who doesnt boss you around during sex?

[09:14:45 PM] muppetmer: i have to go now

[09:14:46 PM] muppetmer: bye

[09:15:01 PM] (me): liar

[09:15:05 PM] (me): youre just way too turned on

[09:18:51 PM] * muppetmer signed off.

I'm sure I have more posts somewhere like this, I used to do this a little too much.

I can't read idiot-speak, sorry.

2008-11-11T15:28:00.017-06:00

Lately I've noticed that a lot of things regressing, I'll start with language. It's not just that people are incapable of spelling out entire words, it's that people can't seem to grasp the concept of capitalization either. Their thought patterns are usually either "ILL TYPE AN ENTIRE SENTENCE IN CAPITAL LETTERS," or "mayb i have nvr herd f da shft ki." Personally, I have to struggle to type out moronically spelled words and unnecessary abbreviations. Does it honestly take that much of your time to type out an extra letter on words like "be" and "the?" I mean seriously, I can't read half of what people on the internet are trying to say because I can't decipher idiot code.

What ever happened to punctuation? It honestly baffles me that someone can be literate, yet unable to construct a simple sentence. The ancient Greeks were some of the first to use any sort of punctuation and here we are trying to move backwards. The over usage of acronyms and abbreviations is like practically pissing on the progression of written language. There's a space bar, shift key, backspace, and enter button on a keyboard. Why must people only utilize the caps lock and number keys? I can't stand reading "PPL TLKNG LIEK DIS" as well as "wen dey tawk lyke dis" or worst of all, the people who actually know what the shift key is and abuse it "Bi TaWkNg LyIeK DiS."

In some cases, I've seen people actually make words longer by trying to type them incorrectly. That makes so little sense that it hurts my head trying to figure out why. All the stupid "lolcats" meme crap isn't helping much either. Apparently typing like an uneducated moron is cute to someone out there, and it's forcing idiots to constantly say "dis" instead of "this," "u" instead of actually spelling "you," "iz" instead of "is." You can see where I'm going with this. Yeah, sure kid. "I can has cheezburger" sure does sound funny. Okay not at all. All these years growing up I remember people saying how smart cats are, now apparently they're supposed to speak piss-poor English. No one talks like this, nor is it actually funny. Just because someone on the internet told you something was funny or because you were forwarded something doesn't make it funny or interesting.

There's too many idiots out there making other people into idiots. For instance, people who cite Wikipedia as a source during a presentation. No matter how many times people are told that Wikipedia is not a credible source for information, they continue to say things like "in this article from Wikipedia I found..." The least they could do is at least make up a source. You know what, screw it. I'll just make a list of signs that you could be an idiot.

There's a chance you are a moron if:
1. You cite Wikipedia as a source in anything.
2. You Don't Understand Capitalization.
3. you really don't understand capitalization.
4. YOU KNOW WHAT CAPITALIZATION IS, BUT OVERUSE IT.
5. YoU KnOw WhAt ThE ShIfT kEy Is, AnD fEeL tHe NeEd To TyPe LiKe ThIs.
6. u tipe en ne wai simmilr 2 dis.
7. youcantfigureoutwhatthespacebaris.
8. You dont ever use an apostrophe when typing.
9. You can't seem to grasp the concept that "your" is possessive, and "you're" means "you are."
10. The fact that their, they're, and there are all different words baffles you.
11. You make the argument that you're just typing in a casual fashion, rather than just saying that you like typing like a jackass.
12. You find lolcats funny.
13. You find an internet meme funny.
14. You think people on the internet really care about your political views/religious beliefs/life.
15. You make comments on youtube often.
16. You ask questions on Yahoo Answers.
17. You end questions as if they were statements. For example: "How do you do that."
18. You've made a motivational poster that says something grammatically incorrect, like "Your fucked." Then you proceed to post it all over the internet.
19. You take pictures of yourself in the mirror or at confusing angles because you're too stupid to learn how to use a timer.
20. You do something because some celebrity told you to.

I'd keep going if I weren't too lazy. That's it.

New The Astronuat King song up!

2008-10-05T00:02:00.004-05:00

It's a doomy droned out song in some parts, and a spacey light song on some parts, other parts are just out there. It's 18:28 long so I had to cut it into 3 parts when I put it up. Check it out in the player below!

If you like bands like Boris, Sunn O))), Earth, Bongripper, Final, etc. you should like this.

New DJ Fartbot song up

2008-10-03T12:43:00.002-05:00

This song required a couple of naps to finish, but it's the first new DJ Fartbot song since July.

Satan's Basement updates 9/14/08

2008-09-14T14:21:00.003-05:00

I just put up a new song the other day, and there's another new song on the way. Until I finish that other new one, check this one out:

I've been trying to do more recording, but I also have to put more of a focus on my school work too, because I'd like to get a degree. Don't worry though, I'll finish a new Satan's Basement album... eventually. I'm shooting for before 2009.

This is why I hate people my age.

2008-08-18T16:22:00.015-05:00

I was already expecting a long line at the book store at school today, since classes just started, but I guess I wasn't prepared for the amount of stupidity while standing in line. I nearly blew a blood vessel in my brain listening to the idiots behind me in line.

It's getting to the point where it just seems like people are becoming so stupid that it shouldn't be possible to be so stupid. This one stupid girl had absolutely no idea what volume control is. It's like she didn't realize that in a crowded area full of frustrated people waiting to pay several hundred dollars for a stack of text books didn't want to hear about her goddamn stupid friends and their lame drinking escapades. Usually any time I hear anyone talking about how cool their friend is and how they have to meet them because they're the coolest person they'll ever meet, I know they're an idiot. Great, your friend sleeps around and drinks a lot. I'm so impressed by this original story. Sweet, you talk about drugs, you must be awesome. No one wants to meet your stupid friends and no one cares about you. Stop talking.

I listen to this bitch complain about how long the line was as she tried to sit on a pile of books, successfully knocking something over. I just roll my eyes and try not to throw the entire stack at her shallow skull. She started talking about watching The Maury Povich Show and how she loves it. She just kept getting louder because people around her were pretending to listen to her. Everything she was saying sounded like "I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid."

I swear I'm going to have a heart attack by 25.

Here's one of the worst parts though. There was a TV with the Olympics on and it was baseball at the time. This kid asks "who is that Japan? Oh well they all look the same." I don't know how you could make the mistake, seeing as though not only were their shirts red, but there's also the fact that their goddamn shirts say CHINA in big letters on the front. How can someone be stupid enough to say something like that, let alone make the mistake?

I get farther up in line and get close to the registers finally and this crusty old broad in the line next to me starts complaining to the guy letting everyone through about how she's been waiting there for 45 minutes. We all have lady, you aren't special. It's not really the cashier's fault that it's taking so long, it's the fact that everyone waits until the first day of class to get books. Plus there's people still paying in checks. I was expecting this to happen, people need to just get used to it and shut up and wait in line like everyone else. I said "good luck" to the lady who was at the register. If I were that lady, more people would have been punched in the face.

There's bad, then there's shitty.

2008-08-05T14:41:00.011-05:00

Recently I've been thinking, if people can sue for all these stupid things they feel are worth suing over, why can't I sue movies for insulting my intelligence? I might as well. Then while I'm at it, I'll sue all the ugly people for insulting my vision. Anyway, back to my point.

First off, I'd like to say that anyone who goes to see Disaster Movie is no longer my friend. From the two pieces of shit who brought you Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans, comes another uninspired lump of crap that will most likely leave you punching the movie screen. Who is letting these people make movies? Honestly, there's no one out there who said "oh man, I sure do hope those two dick-for-brains movie makers make another one!" If there is someone out there thinking that, please kill them. If you want to help keep another bomb from dropping, don't see it, don't let anyone you know see it, and if you see anyone at the theater buying tickets, use a little something called violence to persuade them into thinking twice.

Now, I hate protesters, hippies, and activists, but it's time to take action in a way that's actually productive. Threats, tons of hate mail, and sheer laziness. Find out where to send Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer the hate mail they deserve, and make sure to send them some. Then, don't see the movie. If this movie makes money, you're risking the possibility of another one coming out. These assholes won't get the picture until they're poor. They don't seem to understand how shitty their movies are, they're hardly comedy movies, because comedy implies laughter taking place at some point.

So, I personally love watching bad movies, but when I say bad movies, I mean movies that are funny, but they aren't funny on purpose. For example, old horror movies were supposed to be scary, instead they were usually more entertaining because they were so poorly done. A good bad movie is often times bad because of a low budget and unintentionally bad acting. This movie is not a bad movie, it's a terrible piece of shit. There's a big difference, they're trying to be funny... it just never happens. Don't see it, because no matter how long you wait for something funny to happen, it won't. Why can't parody movies be funny anymore? The Airplane and Hotshots movies were entertaining, then again the people working on those movies were actually funny. Don't tell yourself "I just want to see how bad it is." You know it's going to suck ass, don't give them more money.

If you absolutely need to see a movie in theaters, for whatever reason, don't make it Disaster Movie. If someone is about to buy a ticket for it, smack the money out of their hands. If someone is talking about it in a positive way, punch them in the gut. If someone asks you if you want to go see it, tell them they're no longer your friend and hit them.

So remember kids, protesting is for idiots, send hate mail to the writers, threaten whoever you can, and whatever you do, don't see it.

Don't let this movie make any money. You can hear this bomb is about to drop, so instead of being hit by it, get the fuck out of the way.

Live videos from Stage 83!

2008-07-23T18:40:00.002-05:00

July 20th I played a show at Stage 83 in Lemont, Illinois and had a great time. It was a nice venue with pretty good sound, and it was a ton of fun! If you missed the show, check out the videos of my entire set!

Check them out, comment. Whatever.

What the hell is this crap?

2008-07-11T15:12:00.004-05:00

So okay, my friend Daniel and I look through the toy sections in toy stores a lot and this has been bothering me for weeks.

Why does the hulk look so dopey-ass happy? Wouldn't him being happy make him... not the hulk? Shouldn't he look pissed? Seeing as though he has to be angry to become the hulk, you'd think he'd at least look irritated or.. unhappy in some way. Kids toys are just confusing and stupid these days.

Then there's this:

Apparently Spiderman has a grotesquely out of hand case of elephantiasis. Seriously, what in gods name is wrong with toy designers? Make toys proportional, and make them make sense. Thanks for fueling my rage like a blowtorch to a $5 gallon of gasoline.

The Astronaut King (news 6/10/2008)

2008-06-10T12:12:00.007-05:00

This summer is pretty big for The Astronaut King, pretty busy as well. For the first time ever there's real live concerts, the two ones in high school don't count because I never got to play full sets. Those were disasters anyway. The first real show was still at a school, Elgin Community College, but I had a full 30 minute set. To view pictures of it, go to Flickr.
I've also finally gotten some new equipment, a new guitar and half stack. I'm surprised my fingers haven't fallen off from playing them so much the past few days though, I didn't realize how crappy my old equipment was until I started playing on this stuff. I bought a Schecter C-1 Hellraiser and some half stack that B-52 makes.

I also have a demo out with 7 songs, it's a little over 47 minutes long. I also have buttons available, to buy both as a package, click below:

The Hog-sicle.

2008-01-25T21:45:00.000-06:00

The other day my mom and I were watching TV, and I don't know what we were talking about, but something brought us to talking about hot dog popsicles. Now, for a while it was hard to talk about it because we were laughing so hard, but we started talking about how we'd do it, and how to trick my brother into eating it. Eventually my brother's girlfriend found out about the idea, but she thought it was hilarious too, so she wouldn't tell him.

So this morning we brought out a package of hot dogs, let them defrost for a little bit, and I cut them to about the length of the fudgesicles we had in the freezer. I took a popsicle stick and shoved it into the hot dog, then left it in the back of the freezer for later. I took my mom to physical therapy, then on the way home we went to the store to buy some of that Hershey's Shell Topping stuff and some other crap to eat. It took a while to get my brother to leave the kitchen, but once he did I ran into the den giggling, and started rolling the hot dogs into the Hershey's Shell Topping, until they started to look like those ice cream chocolate covered popsicle things.

Here's how it turned out:

Pretty great, huh?

Anyway, the difficult part was getting it to him without shitting my pants laughing. I got my mom to come upstairs so I could show her how great it was by saying something like "Hey mom... come look at this video game I made..." Then we both started cracking up, and brought the "Hog-sicle" and 3 fudgesicles downstairs.

Mom: "Hey you guys want fudgesicles?"
(my mom unwraps them all and gives them out, giving Eric the "Hog-sicle")
Eric: "What is this? Is this a banana?"

He ate about two bites of it before we told him he was eating a chocolate covered hot dog. I laughed so hard I cried. I laughed so hard that my contacts fell out. He ate the rest of it.

Long story short: The "Hog-sicle" was a big success.

New Merch, New Designs.

2008-01-10T01:58:00.000-06:00

I've got tons more for sale, but it's mostly DJ Fartbot stuff right now. There's a lot of new designs and stuff on the merch, so check it out and help support.
Go check out these and more of the DJ Fartbot shirts at the DJ Fartbot CafePress store

The Astronaut King - Demo EP available for purchase

2007-12-09T22:18:00.000-06:00

Check it out and support The Astronaut King by clicking the picture below:

Merchandise Available

2007-12-09T22:13:00.000-06:00

--Buy Ian Covelli, Satan's Basement, The Astronaut King, and DJ Fartbot Merch!

--Buy DJ Fartbot Merch!

Kirche Gothika Vs DJ Fartbot - Jigsaw (DJ Fartbot Remix)

2007-11-27T12:26:00.000-06:00

My friend asked me if I'd like to remix his song Jigsaw, so I put off homework in order to do so. The song is named Jigsaw, by my friends project Kirche Gothika.

I titled my remix:
Kirche Gothika Vs DJ Fartbot - Jigsaw (DJ Fartbot Remix)

You can hear it on MySpace at DJ Fartbot MySpace

The Astronaut King - Demo EP

2007-11-19T17:55:00.000-06:00

Streamable, free to listen, check it out!

Hopefully an increase in quality is coming soon.

2007-10-27T16:44:00.000-05:00

So I just bought a new sound card, a cheap mixer, and some other stuff. This means I might have a chance at getting some decent quality tracks done soon.

The only problem is finding time to record and mix these songs. I think my progress might be a little slow, but I'm still going to be working on and writing music. Once winter break hits I'll have a ton of time to work on stuff hopefully, so maybe I can have a DJ Fartbot album done by 2008, and possibly... a third Satan's Basement album. If I don't change my current work schedule, I should have a ton of time to work on music over winter break.

No guarantees on this though, since I don't know how much time I'll end up having.

Hey, I'm not dead.

2007-09-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

Work and school have been taking up most of my time lately so squeezing music in is becoming more and more difficult some weeks. I've gotten some DJ Fartbot songs completed lately, but progress with Satan's Basement songs may be slow due to the fact that they generally take much more time and energy for me to make them.

In other news, college kids are just as ignorant to the world around them as high school and elementary school kids. I'm pretty sure everyone already knew that, but seriously, I hate how people tend to have this "Why would someone do such a thing?" attitude all the time about things they usually do. I think some people think the world really is a perfect place, and as long as they don't have problems, no one else has problems. But enough of that rant, I'll spare the details.

You know what would be cool? If people started giving me money.

Another new Satan's Basement song.

2007-07-31T15:11:00.000-05:00

Don't worry DJ Fartbot fans, I'm still working on material.

Oh right, updates...

2007-07-21T23:59:00.000-05:00

So there's a new Satan's Basement song up now, check it out...

Satan's Basement music video??

2007-07-11T18:08:00.000-05:00

So SUMO.tv told me if I made a music video for them they could put it on their unsigned artists program.

I took very little time making it if you didn't notice...

I'm the only person in it, unless you count the storm.

It's all filmed in my house, on my digital camera which I had to tape in chunks because I've never bothered to buy a memory card for it. I had cranberry juice dripping from my mouth in this one part, I tried making it look like blood...

Anyway, I rushed it, it probably sucks, but hey... I did it.

Oops... I forgot to say...

2007-06-21T04:05:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I finished Cerebral Apocalypse.

Like a month...

It tells a story this time, 16 of the tracks tell a story, then there are 2 bonus tracks (because they didn't fit in with the story.) For those of you who can't do simple addition that's 18 total tracks.

I started working on this album around the time that school started, and finished it around the time my senior year ended. It took me a whole school year to finish this album and I'm proud of the way it turned out. Here's an image of the cover...

I can try explaining the story that this album tells to you but I won't do a very good job, it's better to sit back, listen to the album, and let the music tell the story for you.

It starts off with the main character going through a lot mentally, in a flawed world. Then ignorance spreads and war starts because of it. The main character ends up becoming part of the war and marches off into battle somewhat unprepared. New weapons and technology being used start killing people off quickly.

The main character becomes wounded in battle, falls, and slowly begins to die. All he can do is lay there and wait for his life to end. He's then carried off to the church and buried, and begins wandering in hell. Along the way he finds the corpse of an angel, defiles it, and is then sent back onto earth as the undead. Upon his arrival he begins destroying in the name of evil, and to destroy the ignorance that is humanity.

Rioting, killing, and mass chaos spreads, causing alarms to go off and everything is destroyed. All survivors were knocked unconscious, and the world slowly settled as the main character mysteriously disapears.
Everything is a little hazy and everyone because to wake up out of a confused haze, unsure what the future holds.

Then two bonus tracks.

Seriously, just listen to the album instead, it tells the story better than I can.

Updates: May 19, 2007

2007-05-19T15:37:00.000-05:00

So the Satan's Basement album, Cerebral Apocalypse, is reaching completion finally. It's been a while since I've done much Satan's Basement work but I accidentally made a song for it last night that I thought would fit into the album quite well.

DJ Fartbot has been making more progress lately, as I've been spending more time on the computer, and making songs to put into videos and such. There's a lot of new DJ Fartbot songs, so check them out if you get the chance.

The Astronaut King, I haven't had much time to work on any songs for. I realize that only one song is not enough, but I think I'll get a lot more songs done for it this summer.

That's about all I have to say for now, I'll say more when I have some major updates.

Remixes to come soon?

2007-01-29T23:59:00.000-06:00

I might remix some old songs, I'm not sure, but there are a few that I liked that I could add to, edit, and just make sound a hell of a lot better. Some of these songs would sound better if I just rerecorded them, but I'm not sure if I really want to go that far. Either way, keep your eyes peeled for new versions of old songs, and possibly just new songs all together.

After much frustration, new song is up.

2007-01-17T14:09:00.000-06:00

Before I start off the story, you can go to here to hear the new song

Technically, it took me seven hours to complete this song. I got home from school, and started working on it around 2 pm, and got some guitar tracks recorded. When I went to record vocals, I plugged my microphone in, and all I got was a horrible noise. So I took it apart to find out what was wrong with it, and only to break it even further. I tried some other methods of recording vocals for a while, I came up with some good ideas, but they all ended up sounding terrible.

I found a cassette, unscrewed it, took out the tape, and screwed it back together. I stuck the tape in an old tape recorder, and plugged the headphone jack from that into the line in from my laptop. When I would press record, my computer would be using it as a microphone, so I tried recording some vocals with it. Sure, it worked, but it sounded terrible because you could hear the gears moving from the tape recorder, and it seemed to pick up a lot of crappy noises, it was extremely sensitive for a who-knows-how-old tape recorder I got from Goodwill. I ended up just recording with the mic built into my laptop and using Audacity to amplify the tracks (the internal mic records too quietly).

At around 3 or 4, my power went out. See, this wouldn't have been so bad if I had actually saved my work at least once. So I started fresh again, angry, tired, and still full of energy drink. I was trying to get the loudest vocals, and parts where I actually sang done as soon as possible, because singing while my family is home is too embarrassing. When I finally got all the guitar tracks and about half the vocals done, I started thinking about other things I should put in, so I started working on bass lines.

Now, I don't have a bass guitar, so I had to make do with what I had. In the past, I've always used my brother's keyboard for bass, but this time I just used my guitar. On my amp, I set it to clean, turned off all mid and treble, and turned turned the tone knob on my guitar to have more bass. Since my guitar is usually downtuned enough to make a real musician puke, it sounds sort of like a real bass, and I really like how I pulled off a few of the bass lines in the song.

There's this one part in the song where I forgot to change my recording device on my computer to line in, so I recorded about 2 minutes of guitar without realizing this, but actually left it in there at the part where I'm whispering because I like how it sounded. I did the beginning vocals clean because I thought it would work best, the middle vocals I tried to make sound increasingly angry, or evil, to express the way I felt at those points in my life. The whispering and speaking I did just because I didn't know what else to do, same goes for at the end where I sound like Fat Albert. The ending really has nothing to do with the rest of the song, but I don't want to delete the ending. The song is kind of about how I've changed over the years on a mental and emotional level. I probably never would have done this song if it wasn't for a class, to be honest.

For lack of a better name, I named this one after the current album title, 'Cerebral Apocalypse'. It took me about 2 hours before I gave up and just named it that, so hopefully it's fitting.

New song finished

2007-01-17T06:51:00.000-06:00

It ended up being the title track for my new album, and I'm going to turn it in to my class today. This won't end well. More details later today.

Recent Satan's Basement News

2007-01-15T12:33:00.000-06:00

I might have a new song soon, because I have a final in a class that one option is to make a song. This might not end well...
But on the bright side there might be a new song.